Midsummer Mixups
by Red RoseDragon
Summary: MirSan, InuKag, SesshoKagura. A takeoff of Shakespeare's 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'... starring the Inuyasha gang. Hoo, boy. Rating subject to change. Fasten yer seatbelts.
1. Fluffy

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own any of the characters from Inuyasha. Dammit. Plot belongs at least partly to me (yay), but mainly to William Shakespeare, who was either being brilliant or on some serious shit when he wrote this thing. Or both. Any way, it's one of his best.

_A/N:_ AAAAH! Inuyasha fanfic! Except this time I was watching 'A Midsummer Night's Dream,' and now I can't get the 'two couples mixed up' scenario out of my head! Sorry for all you Shakespeare and/or Inuyasha die-hards out there if I mangle this too badly, i.e. some OOC activity. I plead creative license and apologize in advance. Be prepared for more of this sort of madness with other weird juxtapositions; I can't control myself. Enjoy!

**_Midsummer Mixups_**

_1_

_Fluffy_

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Jaken gasped, running as fast as he could through the woods. "Sesshoumaru-samaaaa!"

He stumbled over a root and went tumbling through the underbrush; it was a mark of how terrified he was that he jumped up and kept running, despite the thorns that now porcupined him. "Sesshoumaru-sama!"

"Jaken, if you've got something to say, spit it out before I lose my patience," a cold, regal voice ordered above him. Belatedly, the squat creature realized that his feet were no longer touching the ground; an elegantly clawed hand held him suspended by the scruff of his robe.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," Jaken panted, "it's that… that… wind witch!"

The tall, silver-haired youkai that had hold of his servant narrowed his eyes, though still managing to be expressionless. "Kagura."

"She… she… she…"

"Oh, catch your breath. Where's Rin?"

"That's… what I… came to tell… you… about!"

Sesshomaru's cold golden eyes froze into diamond-hard yellow stars. Without another word, he turned and strode back toward the direction Jaken had come from.

"For your sake, I hope she hasn't harmed a hair on that girl's head," the inu-youkai told the creature dangling miserably from his fist.

………………………………………

"Ooooh!" Rin squealed, gazing captivated at the miniature whirlwind dancing across Kagura's palms. "Can Rin-chan have one?"

The wind witch smiled. "They aren't for keeping, but you can hold it if you want." At the little girl's enthusiastic nod, Kagura nudged the mini-cyclone out of her own hands and into Rin's cupped ones.

Then, while the child was preoccupied, Kagura deftly wove an invisible cage of air around Rin's small body. It wouldn't hurt her, or really imprison her in any way—but if Kagura didn't want her to see or hear something, she wouldn't.

That little precaution proved timely; seconds after she'd bespelled the girl, Kagura's sharp ears picked up the sound of a fast-approaching—and probably royally pissed off—inu-youkai.

The wind witch smiled. Sesshoumaru, at whom she was looking, did not.

"Give her back now, Kagura," he said flatly.

Her smile sweetened, and her eyes gleamed wickedly. "Oh, don't get so worked up, Fluffy. I'm not going to hurt her. Sweet little thing, isn't she?"

"Kagura, I'm warning you—"

She cut him off, relishing his expression as she did so. He was remarkably difficult to tease; this time, though, she had him. "I thought she might like to learn a few tricks. You know, I don't really have anyone to leave my power to—" _should it ever really be mine_ "—and Rin doesn't have much to look forward to, does she? Is she going to be your pet for the rest of her life?"

The youkai lord looked ready to explode. His eyes were turning red, she noticed with interest. But she knew he wouldn't hurt her. For one thing, Rin was in the way. For another, her wind-web was still on Rin, which meant that the child couldn't see or hear Sesshoumaru at all.

And in case he decided to end the spell by killing the caster, Kagura had insurance for that. There were reasons why you shouldn't accept things from witches; sometimes you were giving permission for more than you wanted to. "See how much she's learned already? She's even let me link a little bit of spell to her own will—it'll keep itself up even if something happens to me." Sesshoumaru purpled, and Kagura had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from laughing. _It is truly amazing that such a handsome face can look so much like Jaken's._ "Isn't she clever, Fluffy?"

"_If you call me Fluffy again I will string you up by your toes, witch!"_

She couldn't help it anymore. She burst out laughing.

Sesshoumaru yanked Tokijin out of its sheath with a snarl, but Kagura didn't stop. If anything, she laughed harder.

"Kagura-sama?" Rin looked up at the woman, bewildered. "What's so funny?"

Kagura managed to calm herself down. "It's just a silly dog barking at a mockingbird, Rin. Dogs can be such idiots sometimes."

Rin giggled, and nodded. "Hai, Kagura-sama. Rin-chan saw one chasing his tail—it was so funny!" She lowered her voice in a conspiratorial stage whisper. "And sometimes they drool in their sleep, and kick their feet—and Sesshoumaru-sama does it, too!"

Kagura laughed softly with the little girl, and her eyes were pure mischief as they met the humiliation-crazed golden gaze of the youkai lord. His face had ceased being purple, but that was only because it was so red with embarrassment as to be giving off more heat than a hibachi.

"You will regret this, Kagura," he hissed.

"Oh, you deserve to be taken down a notch or two," the wind witch breezed. "You take yourself too seriously, _Fluffy."_

"I am giving you one more chance—"

"You have nothing to bargain with," Kagura interrupted. _"I'll_ decide when I want to release her, Sesshoumaru. You can wait a little while."

The inu-youkai glowered at her for a moment, then whirled and stalked away. Kagura grinned smugly, and bent to show Rin more magic.

……………………………………………

"Jaken."

The toad youkai poked his quavering nose out of the hole he'd taken refuge in. "S-s-sesshoum-m-maru-s-s-sama?" He yelped as a chunk of splintered branch dropped from what had been a tree onto his head.

"I want you to go to the half-breed's village. Find that old miko and tell her that I want that oil she made from kappa's skin." The youkai lord flexed his fingers unconsciously, freeing a slice of wood from between them. "And tell her that if I have to come for it myself, I will be extremely displeased."

"H-h-hai, S-sesshoum-m-m-maru-s-sama." Jaken inched out of his hiding spot, whimpering as a sliver drove into his heel. There wasn't much shade here, now that most of the larger trees were gone. Someone could have made several nicely-sized bonfires, though.

"Why are you still standing there?"

"Hai! Gomen nasai! Sesshoumaru-sama!" The little youkai scrambled away, almost clearing a fallen tree trunk in one jump in his haste to leave. As it was, he slammed into a waist-high rock once he'd heaved himself over the log. If he'd ever considered having children, he thought distractedly as he limped away, it probably wouldn't work out now.

This was just not a good day.


	2. Time To Go

_Disclaimer: _Nope, nobody home but us non-Inuyasha-owners. Depressing, ain't it? Also, I still don't own the brilliance of William Shakespeare or 'A Midsummer Night's Dream.' Dunno if he'd be angry about copyright issues, but I don't wanna be haunted by an Elizabethan ghost. shiver Those big-ass ruffs scare me…

_A/N:_ Yay, medlii! I like introducing people to Shakespeare. He rules.

Okay, for the purposes of this story just pretend that Sango and Miroku have been more than a little comfy with each other—no, no, _not _that, you pervs! Minds out of the gutter!—and Inuyasha and Kagome have been worse than usual. It just makes more sense for the story. I plead artistic license.

_2_

Time To Go 

"Baka!"

"Jerk!"

"Whiner!"

"Pighead!"

"Bitch!"

"_Osuwari!"_

"Aaugh!"

Shippou sighed gustily. "Weren't they at this… oh, five minutes ago?" he complained.

"More like two, Shippou-chan," Sango told him wearily. Miroku smiled at both of them, slinging a casual arm around the pretty taijiya's shoulders.

"Inuyasha is, as we all know, an affirmed moron," he said seriously. "Kagome-sama is both beautiful and in love with him. If I were in his place, I wouldn't waste another second in accepting her—"

"Hey-y," Sango warned, slugging him lightly in mock anger.

"—high regard," he finished easily. "If, of course, I didn't have such a lovely distraction…"

"That tongue of yours is going to get you in trouble again, Houshi-sama," the young woman snickered, blushing and grinning all the same.

"Is that an invitation?"

"Hentai!" she gasped in mock outrage. He raised an exaggeratedly innocent eyebrow at her, then grinned. She shook her head, laughing, but it didn't distract her from the seemingly-careless hand that drifted down toward her—

"Houshi, you're asking for it!"

Miroku sighed and dropped his arm back to his side. "Can you blame a man for trying?"

"Will it matter if you have to nurse a headache again?" She met his gaze squarely, a smile still playing around her gaze. A second later it vanished, and her eyes flew open.

_Crack!_

The monk massaged his smarting cheek and winced as Sango flexed her hand threateningly, rubbing her manhandled bottom. "Kami-sama, why did you make me a masochist?" Miroku asked the air in general.

"Since when did Kami-sama have anything to do with it?" Shippou asked curiously. "An' you don't seem to mind it when you don't get slapped." Then his little brow furrowed. "…Do you ever not get slapped?"

The kitsune's query was punctuated by something smashing to pieces in the house where Kagome and Inuyasha were still wrangling.

"Cute couple," Miroku noted, grimacing. "They're crazy about each other, but he won't admit it, and she's too proud to show it any other way." Sango sighed in mute agreement. Then, after a moment's hesitation, she met the Buddhist's eyes again.

"Maybe we should leave them to work things out with each other," she said slowly.

Miroku blinked. "I'm not sure I follow you."

"Think about it," she persisted. "At this point, it'll take a miracle to get anything done with those two so riled up all the time. And Naraku... he's still out there." Sango avoided looking at the houshi's hand, with its momentarily sealed kazaana, but both their minds were on it, and on the scar that rippled the skin on her back... put there by her own brother, at Naraku's command... "We need to find him fast, and if those two don't settle out soon, we'll run out of time."

"I see," the monk murmured quietly. They both knew that, sooner or later, the kazaana would swallow him whole if Naraku did not die. They both knew that if Sango had to face Kohaku again, none might be left alive—for the taijiya's little brother could no longer rightly be called living.

He hadn't told her that the throbbing, pulling pain of the black hole grew worse every day. She hadn't told him about the tears that came every night, to wash cold splinters of self-doubt further into her heart.

A brisk expression appeared on Miroku's face. "You're right, Sango-chan," he told her. "Two people can move much faster than five, and Kirara can fly us if we need her to."

"Wait!" Shippou demanded. "You're just going to leave us? You're going to leave Kagome—and me!—alone with dog-breath?

"Shippou-chan, of course—" Sango began consolingly, but Miroku interrupted her.

"I'm afraid so, Shippou."

"Why?" the kitsune wailed. "Can't I come with you? Pleeeease?"

"Why can't he?" Sango asked the houshi, confused.

"Shippou's right," Miroku explained. "We can't abandon Kagome-sama to battle Inuyasha alone. Shippou, you have to stay with her, so she's not so alone. She needs you more than we do," he added at the fox kit's doubtful look.

Shippou thought about this for a moment, then reluctantly nodded. "Yeah, she does."

Sango ruffled the kitsune's hair sympathetically. "Thank you, Shippou-chan. I know you don't like being left behind." Shippou sighed gustily, then gazed up at her with beseeching eyes.

"Can you at least bring me back some candy?"

Miroku rolled his eyes, and Sango smiled. "If you promise not to tell Kagome-chan and Inuyasha, I'll see what I can do," she bargained.

"Deal!"

Miroku watched Shippou race happily off, smiling a little himself. Then he glanced over his shoulder at Sango. "Think he'll manage it?"

"For a little while, at least," she admitted, whistling for Kirara. "We'd still better get going quickly. If either of them find out, they _will_ come after us. Kirara, there you are. Thank you, dearest." This last was because the neko-youkai had brought Sango's armor and Hiraikotsu; the praise made Kirara stretch languidly as if to say 'oh, it was hardly _work.'_ The taijiya scratched the big firecat behind her ears, talking to her. "We're going to go for a while, Kirara. Just Miroku and me. And you. Are you up for a journey?"

Kirara gave her taijiya a look that plainly said, 'I'm going to pretend that wasn't a question. Now, when are we going?' Sango smiled wryly, then glanced at Miroku.

"Are you ready to leave?"

"Always," he replied, bowing slightly. "Who could resist, with such lovely companions?"

Sango laughed. "Houshi-sama, you're something."

"I think I should thank you." He swung onto Kirara's back after Sango had settled herself in, lightly resting his hands on her hips. She was relaxing more around him, he noticed, pleased. A few months ago, she might have given him a death glare for such a trick; now, he could almost feel her smile as he snugged a little closer to her. He smiled as well, and Kirara took off.


	3. All Sorts Of Trouble

_Disclaimer: _Don't own Inuyasha? Join the club. We've got jackets. (Name that movie! .) This time, though, I can actually claim an original character! I own Hyakunan. Hope you like him, cute li'l spawn of Loki that he is. Thank you for your kind words, my loyal reader(s?).

_3_

_All Sorts Of Trouble_

The sounds of fighting were still coming from Kaede's hut, so Shippou decided to steer clear of there for the time being. Unfortunately, there wasn't anywhere else to go that was particularly interesting. The kitsune heaved a sigh. Two minutes without those two, and already he was bored…

His little fox ears twitched, and he sat up straighter, looking around. Someone was sneaking…

"Psst!"

Shippou yipped and darted for cover, peeking out from behind a fence post.

"You squeal like a girl," the disembodied voice noted. It had a truly strange accent, wispy on some of the consonants and treading heavily on the rest of the sounds.

Shippou's manly pride, being a bit more mature than the rest of him, stung him to retort, "Do not!"

"Do so," the voice shot back.

"Do not!"

"Do so!"

"Do not!"

"So!"

"Not!"

"So!"

"Not not not not not!"

"So so so so so!"

"Not infinity!" Shippou yelled, rather pleased with the proper application of the phrase he'd learned from Kagome. To his further delight, it worked; the voice fell silent, stymied.

"So."

"You can't still say 'so,' I already said 'infinity,'" the kitsune pointed out. "Y'know, like forever?"

"I know. Where'd you learn it?"

Shippou pointed solemnly toward the full-voiced _"BAKAAAAA!"_ that rang from the interior of Kaede's house. "Her."

"The miko?"

"You know her?" Shippou asked, startled.

The other voice gave the impression of a shrug. "Seen her a few times. Kami, she's ugly."

"Kagome is not ugly!" the kitsune contradicted hotly.

"Who's Kagome?"

"The miko, baka! An' she's beautiful, even if Inuyasha no baka says she's not—"

The speaker audibly perked. "Inuyasha? The hanyou with the Tetsusaiga? How d'you know Inuyasha?"

Shippou wasn't in the mood to be generous. Plus, he was curious. "Come out an' I'll tell you."

Slight rustling. "No tricks?"

"'Course not." It never occurred to him that crossing your fingers behind your back—another excellent piece of knowledge courtesy of the twentieth-century girl—was not necessarily a nice thing to do. Besides, you couldn't just make promises like _that. _There were mitigating circumstances, after all.

Pause. "'Kay." And the owner of the voice stepped out.

It didn't really surprise Shippou that the speaker was a boy about his age, with short, fine, ponytailed hair—spring leaf green, for some odd reason—and wide, appealing eyes that nevertheless looked as if they didn't miss much. It wasn't even too odd that one of those eyes was the bright yellow of the ramen cups Kagome brought from her world, while the other was a bluish color valiantly attempting to be black. His clothes, though they looked as if someone had attacked him with an artist's palette, were of normal style. Even the pointed ears, universal symbol of youkai-dom, weren't all that shocking. Or, at least, not by themselves.

"You're a youkai, right?" the kitsune asked doubtfully.

The other boy scratched self-consciously behind one ear. "Sorta."

"Are you or aren't you?"

The boy fidgeted. "Ummm… kinda."

"You can't be 'kinda' a youkai," Shippou argued crossly. "You don't smell right. What are you, if you're not a youkai?"

"I am so a youkai!" the other youngster declared, glaring. "I'm just… not… from here."

Skepticism fought a quick battle with curiosity, and lost. "Where're you from, then?"

The boy's mismatched eyes turned mulish. "Nowhere."

Shippou squinted in what he hoped was a threatening, penetrating way. "Yeah, right. And your otou-san is a kami, right?"

"No!"

The kitsune blinked; what had he said? The kid didn't have to get so mad about it, he'd just asked a question.

Oh, well. He shrugged it off and chose a safer topic. "I'm Shippou. What's your name?"

The kid unbent a little. "Um… well, in your language it's Hyakunan, so just call me that."

Shippou grinned. "'All sorts of trouble.' Cool name."

Hyakunan looked at him oddly. "'Cool'?"

Oh. Sometimes Kagome's slang confused people. "Good name."

"Thanks."

The pause that followed was saved from awkwardness by a loud, repetitive banging issuing from the unlucky couple's battleground. Shippou winced; from the sound of it, an iron pot was meeting something equally hard and dense. Probably Inuyasha's head.

Hyakunan listened with obvious interest, and no little bit of awe. "What are they _doing?"_

"Fighting," Shippou replied drily.

"Who's winning?"

"Nobody."

"They're that good?"

"It's that bad," the kitsune corrected. "They won't admit that they like each other. I don't know why Kagome likes Inuyasha, though," he confided. "He's stupid and violent and has a bad mouth. Kagome's too nice for him; she brings me candy."

"Sounds good." The smile on Hyakunan's face suddenly acquired Mischief with a visible capital. "Is Inuyasha fun to bother?"

Shippou shrugged. "If he doesn't catch you, yeah."

"You get caught?" The green-haired boy looked astonished.

"He's fast," Shippou defended himself. "And he hits _hard." _The kitsune had the head lumps to prove it.

Hyakunan dismissed that with a shrug. "You just have to be clever."

"Easy for you to say. You don't travel around with him," Shippou pointed out crossly.

"Oh. Good point."

Another _CRASH tinkle tinkle _from inside the hut. Hyakunan craned his neck toward the noise, eyebrows raised. _"She_ seems to do it easy enough."

Shippou grinned. "She's had practice."

Hyakunan glanced sidelong at the kitsune, then grinned back. "Maybe we just need practice."

Shippou briefly considered the idea of a partner in crime—_twice the fun, half the blame if we get caught—_then nodded emphatically. "Deal!"

………………………………………

Anyone wandering by that particular tree on the edge of the woods might have been heartily puzzled by the low but distinct stream of blistering language it seemed to be pouring out. Anyone who was familiar with the habits of a certain silver-haired hanyou might have been less puzzled, especially if they looked up. Anyone who knew where he'd been ten minutes ago would have been absolutely gobsmacked if they _hadn't _heard the words 'wench,' 'bitch,' or 'Kagome' sprawled somewhere amid the rest of the word flow. Anyone listening wouldn't have been disappointed.

In this case, however, 'Anyone' was equally apportioned into two smallish, youngish, youkai-ish, mischief-seeking packages. And a certain dog-eared boy's sulking was more than enough to draw their attention.

Inuyasha was unaware of these developments. He was growling a steadily less-inventive barrage of swearwords at the air in front of him. He was paying far less attention than he should have been to the air above him—but that was shortly remedied.

_Thock._

"Oi!" Inuyasha nearly fell off the branch trying to see what had hit him. The missile had bounced into a bird's nest on the limb below—a river pebble, with a hole neatly bored through its center. "What the—"

_Thock._

The hanyou swore expressively and rubbed his scalp. That one had been much bigger, and there had been no hole to reduce the mass. He glared up into the thick branches. "Listen, asshole, if you don't come down here and fight me like a real whatever-you-are, I'm gonna—"

_THWAPP._

"_Fuck!"_ Inuyasha fought a losing battle with gravity, and ended up dangling from the branch by his claws. There are some things that will knock even an inu-hanyou out of a tree, and a generous faceful of mud is one of them.

Well, not exactly mud.

Inuyasha sniffed, then gagged. _"Shit!"_

"He guessed it!" Shippou wheezed to Hyakunan, clutching his sides as if it would help keep his ribs from cracking. The two of them were in as much danger as Inuyasha of falling out of the tree, but in their case it was a matter of being convulsed with hysterical laughter.

"_You're DEAD, you rat-faced little monkey shit!"_

"Guess it takes one to know one," Hyakunan gasped, still rolling around in a fit of belly laughing as far as it was possible to on a tree branch.

"_Throwing—fucking—COW SHIT—on—my—head?"_ the hanyou roared, lurching back onto the branch as his legs scrabbled in the air. His fingers slipped in a splatter of leftover cowpatty, and a trailing _"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!"_ ended in an abrupt landing that sounded much like a belly-flopping elephant. This triggered further paroxysms of hilarity.

"_GET DOWN HERE!"_

"Run," Shippou squeaked, still laughing, and suited action to words. Hyakunan followed right on his tail, the two leaping across the interlaced tree branches and scurrying down an adjacent trunk. The sounds of a royally pissed-off inuhanyou ripping up bushes sped them on their way out of the forest.

"That was good," Hyakunan said decisively once they'd found a safe hideout in the village. "You do that often?"

"Not that," Shippou admitted. "How'd you hide the smell? I thought he'd catch us for sure."

The green-haired boy shrugged. "Masked it. Isn't hard to copy tree-sap scent."

"Good one."

"Yeah."

"Wanna do it again?"

"Yeah."

"Wrong answer," a voice grated from a considerable distance above their heads.

Shippou froze. In retrospect, he would realize that this was not a good reaction. It probably would have been smarter to jump three feet in the air and take off screaming, like Hyakunan. Instead, he found himself hoisted up by his bushy red tail. A set of upside-down, bared white fangs above a dog nose and golden eyes that could have passed for demented solar flares appeared in his line of vision. _Eww, dog boogers—does he know that there's cowpoo in his hair still?_ he thought vaguely as the rest of him shrieked and wriggled vainly.

"Any last words, runt?" Inuyasha growled. "I always said you'd make a nice rug someday."

"Kagoooooomeeeee!" the kitsune wailed, praying that she hadn't been chased out of earshot by the hanyou's presence.

Inuyasha's eyes narrowed, darting nervously away from his captive to search the surroundings. Shippou seized the opportunity two-handed and latched his little teeth onto the hanyou's sensitive nose.

"_Aaaaagbth!_ Ged off ob by dose, you liddle jid!"

Shippou gnawed harder, growling. He didn't have full youkai fangs just yet, but that didn't mean he couldn't do _some _damage.

"Ged—_off!" _Inuyasha yanked the little kitsune away from his face and hurled him ten feet into the bushes. This time Shippou didn't wait for his attacker to realize his mistake. He pelted away as fast as his little fox feet could carry him.

"_Kaaagooooooooomeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"_


	4. UnSolved Mysteries

_Disclaimer: _—shows off new red 'I don't own Inuyasha' jacket— Thank you, medlii! Red is my favorite color!

_A/N:_ Mm, candy… —snarf— Cookies for medlii! And yes, that movie quote was from Shrek 2. Everyone must see it, if only for the big adorable Puss-in-Boots eyes. And now, our feature presentation.

_4_

_(Un)Solved Mysteries_

Kagome looked away from her target practice, startled, at a familiar siren wail.

"_Kaaagooooooooomeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"_

"Shippou—oomph!" She managed to catch the little ballistic missile without being knocked onto her back. Barely. "What's wrong?"

"He's trying to kill me!" the kitsune pleaded. "Save me!"

"It's okay, Shippou-chan," she soothed. She gave up trying to keep a grip on her bow in favor of the clinging, shaking little furball, then swept a glare worthy of any outraged mother toward a hanyou who was rapidly approaching Doom.

_...Why is he covered in… _She covered her nose, spoiling the glare. _...cowpies?_

"Oh, no you don't, you fur-faced little asshole! Wench, let go of him, he's got it coming this time!"

"Inuyasha, don't even start!"

"Waaaaah! Kagomeeeeeee!"

"Inuyasha, don't make me say it!" Kagome threatened.

"He deserves it this time!" Inuyasha barked. "He dumped—"

"_You _deserved it, baka!" The kitsune seemed to have forgotten that he was supposed to be cowering in helpless, adorable fear. "You do enough crap to everybody else!"

Inuyasha snarled and snatched at Shippou's tail. Kagome dodged him and barked, "Osuwari!"

"_Dammit!" _The hanyou found his face being driven six inches into the soft turf.

"I don't care what Shippou did, Inuyasha, he's a child!" Kagome was ranting. "You can't try to kill him for every little thing! What did he ever do to you?"

"_This, _for one," Inuyasha growled, struggling futilely under the rosary's spell.

"I did not!" Shippou shrilled. "Kagome sits you 'cause you're mean and rude and violent—and you chase everybody away!"

"If you're referring to yourself and your shrimpy little friend, runt, then hell, yes, I chase everything away! You threw _cow shit _at my head!"

Kagome stopped at that one. She frowned at Shippou. "You did what?"

Shippou fidgeted. "He was swearing at you."

"As if that's anything new," Kagome and Inuyasha muttered simultaneously. The girl glared at Inuyasha on principle, then gave Shippou a Stern Look.

"That isn't nice, Shippou-chan."

"But he was being mean!" the kitsune pleaded, mustering the biggest Shiny-Puppy-Eyes in his arsenal. "An' he chased Miroku and Sango and Kirara away—"

"_What?"_

Shippou cringed at their simultaneous exclamations, and at the memory of a certain taijiya promising him candy if he didn't do exactly what he'd just done. "I—er, um…"

"All right, runt, 'fess up." The spell had worn off, and Kagome didn't seem inclined to 'sit' Inuyasha again as the hanyou levered himself to his feet.

"Ah… um… eh…"

"Shippou-chan, this is important," Kagome told him, her blue-grey eyes serious. "Where did Miroku-sama and Sango-chan go?"

At least he had an answer to that one. "I dunno."

Inuyasha growled; Kagome quelled him with a raised hand. "Shippou."

"I don't know, they didn't say!" Shippou cried, cracking like cheap plastic. "They just said it'd save time if they went after Naraku by themselves—"

Kagome groaned and covered her eyes; Inuyasha muttered something unprintable under his breath.

"Which way did they go?" the girl asked wearily.

"Toward the forest." Shippou's tail drooped in reflection of its owner's thorough misery.

"Probably the bouzu," Inuyasha grumbled. "Of all the stupid baka yarou—"

"Why would they run off?" Kagome asked nobody in particular. "We've been searching for Naraku for Kami-sama knows how long…"

Inuyasha huffed through his nose. "I'll go after them. Morons…"

Kagome nodded, setting Shippou on the ground. "I'll get my backpack."

"No," Inuyasha corrected.

"Excuse me?"

Shippou winced at her tone. Inuyasha, unfortunately for him, didn't appear to notice that the air in her immediate vicinity had cooled several degrees by sole merit of her voice.

"I said no. I can find them quicker by myself."

"So what, I just stay home and keep house?"

"What else are you gonna do?"

"I'm coming with you!"

"No."

"Yes I am, oh Macho Man! What, you think there aren't things in there that can take even the Great and Powerful Inuyasha-sama down?"

To his credit, Inuyasha didn't waste time trying to puzzle out her terminology. "If you come with me, you'll be a target, and we won't get anything done!"

"I am not completely helpless, thank you very much!"

"Had me damn well fooled, then!"

"You—_jerk!"_

"Oh, brought out the heavy weaponry there."

"Osuwari! And I am _so _coming with you!" She left him spitting out dirt. Shippou wasn't so dejected that he didn't take the opportunity to gnaw on Inuyasha's head, but he fled when the hanyou's screams turned more dire. Gloom caught up with the kitsune once he'd reached the village. _Sango's gonna kill me._

_And she's not gonna give me candy, either._

………………………………………

Hyakunan felt a twinge of upset conscience at leaving Shippou behind for Inuyasha to beat on, but only a twinge. His attention was quickly distracted by the many new things the village had to offer. Who knew, for example, that hysterical muddy chickens could make such a mess in a clothesline?

What was really interesting, though, was that there appeared to be another youkai in the village.

Hyakunan frowned, testing the youki against his own… unique… senses. It wasn't Shippou, he was certain. Or Inuyasha, he surmised, even though he hadn't been able to sense the hanyou's youki _and _keep him from smelling their little scent bomb at the same time. Shippou hadn't mentioned any other youkai, had he?

_Huh, _he mused, flitting closer to the source of the youki. _The miko's house? Is this thing crazy? _He peeked inside, convincing the old miko's shields that they were mistaken, they _didn't_ see a little green-haired pointy-eared boy there, as he did.

The old miko was sorting through some sort of herb storage. "—master is a strange one."

"It is not your place to question Sesshoumaru-sama, baba," the youkai snapped in a squat, nasal voice. Hyakunan wrinkled his nose; the youkai looked like something its mother should have drowned at birth, with wrinkled, wet green-brown skin, froggish yellow eyes, and a stink that rivaled the cowpat that had landed on Inuyasha's head less than an hour before. It was wearing a conical black hat, and brown robes that brought to mind something that had been digested a few times and rejected more often than not. The one thing that impressed Hyakunan about this disgusting specimen was the wooden staff bearing two miniature heads—a male oni and a female human—that it carried. It definitely had power.

The miko straightened laboriously, a tiny vial in her hand. "Maybe not, but I'll thank ye to show more respect for an old woman."

"How da—eeeep!" The toadish youkai squeaked and jumped several feet in the air, waving the lumpy appendages at the ends of his skinny legs. Hyakunan grinned; this miko knew her stuff. He'd personally always been fond of hotfoot spells.

"Here be your master's potion, Jaken," the miko continued calmly, ignoring the thing's whimpers. "And remember: for full effect, it must be applied to eyes, ears, _and _lips. 'Twill not be permanent else."

Jaken straightened himself stiffly to his full height and accepted the vial. "Sesshoumaru-sama may decide to spare your worthless life for this, Miko Kaede."

"How generous of him," Kaede replied drily.

The sarcasm made a slight _shush_ing sound as it whizzed over Jaken's head. "Sesshoumaru-sama is not generous, miko."

"Of course not. Fare ye well."

Hyakunan's full attention was now on the little glass vial in Jaken's stubby fingers. He tailed the toad youkai into the forest, wondering what new fun this would lead to.

……………………………………

The sun had set several hours ago. Kagome had gone into Kaede's house to sleep, but not before making expressly clear that the house was a No-Hanyou Zone for that night, and possibly the next few too.

That was fine with Inuyasha. He wasn't planning on sleeping anyway. Sleep was overrated. He bit back a yawn as he glided silently past the miko's house.

Who cared if Kagome needed to sleep so often. Weak human. She looked so helpless when she slept; so gentle. Peaceful. And her fingers sometimes twitched in a familiar gesture, as if rubbing a pair of fuzzy—

His brain clamped down on itself at that point. He was _not _gonna finish that thought.

His ears twitched. He growled at the traitorous appendages, then winced, listening for footsteps.

Nope, nobody'd heard. He breathed out softly, then ran lightly toward the forest.

If he'd listened a little more carefully, he might have realized that one human wasn't quite asleep. If he'd stayed around a little longer, he might have seen a figure carrying a backpack, quiver, and bow quietly follow him.


	5. Journey In My Head

_Disclaimer: _Do I look like Rumiko Takahashi?

Hojo: Umm… maybe?

Oh, shut up. You aren't even in this story.

And for all you Shakespeare fans out there, the title is not in my words; thank The Bard's 27th sonnet for that. (I highly recommend that you read it.)

Hojo: Hey, I know! You're William Shakespeare!

…………………… some things are just sad.

_A/N: _Okay, brace yourselves, this is gonna be a long one… and if fluff makes you gag, keep a garbage can handy.

And whatever you do, DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS AT THE END!

_5  
__Journey in my Head_

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Jaken raced up to his lord's side. "I have it!"

The inuyoukai took the vial, examined it. His expression never wavered; he simply turned and began walking, leaving Jaken to catch up.

"Do you want me to apply the potion, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"No."

"But—"

"No, Jaken. You would not be able to. Kagura is quite capable of sensing and annihilating you, even in her sleep. I will do this."

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama. But—"

"Shut up, Jaken."

"But Sesshou—"

Sesshoumaru stopped, looked down at Jaken. His expression would have given an avalanche second thoughts. "Have I somehow left any doubt as to my wishes on the subject?"

Jaken quailed nearly to the point of wetting himself. "N-n-no, S-s-sesshoum-m-maru-s-sama."

"Then silence."

The toad youkai could only nod frantically. Sesshoumaru resumed walking.

His elegantly slanted ears twitched once at a slight noise behind him—was it a bird, or a childish giggle?—but when he glanced back, nothing was there.

Kagura may have been able to hide her own scent, but Sesshoumaru could have picked up Rin's through a head cold in monsoon season. He'd brought her back to life; that was one bond he couldn't have broken if he'd wanted to. All he had to do was follow the trail, since the wind witch would hardly have left her prize unattended.

Surprisingly enough, she hadn't gone far. He found them in a—tree.

Well, in a nest the size of a koi pond in a tree. But still.

He didn't fly up, and disturb the winds; that would have woken Kagura. Instead he narrowed his eyes at the indignity—only lesser beings sighed in exasperation—and, using his long claws as crampons, began to climb.

_She is going to pay for all this filth under my nails. And for making me climb a tree one-handed. Damn my bastard half-brother, too. I wasn't finished with that arm…_

In the nest, he paused. Kagura was curled protectively around little Rin, both of them deep asleep. He didn't quite know what he'd expected, but it hadn't been to find Kagura apparently treating his young charge as her own.

To his amazement—he had often told himself that no being could harm him, and had believed it with ample reason for several hundred years—he found himself a little hurt that Rin would so easily trust his enemy.

He swiftly reprimanded himself. _Rin is young, and human. She trusts easily. And Kagura can be… charming… when she wishes to._

He refused to let himself read too much further into that last thought.

Carefully, he uncorked the flask, holding it closed with his finger as he approached the sleeping woman. She stirred a little, faint frown lines appearing between her arched brows, and he froze, not even breathing. _Don't you dare wake up, you obstinate creature. _It would be just like her to defy him even as he put his plan into action…

She relaxed, and so did he. Dabbing a little of the clear, pinkish liquid onto his fingers, he leaned forward and… realized that he didn't know what to do with it.

He came very close to swearing out loud, but another slight movement from Kagura caught him just in time. _I'm going to KILL Jaken. Then I'm going to revive him and kill him again. And maybe again. Stupid shitface, couldn't tell me how to use the damned stuff, oh no…_

The aforementioned dead man was doing a very strange form of dance at the base of the tree his master had climbed. It looked as if a swarm of hornets had invaded his robes. And he kept gesturing to his eyes and mouth.

Belatedly Sesshoumaru realized that the toad had recognized his error and was trying to correct it. _Perhaps I'll only kill him once. Eyes and mouth, then… _He bent over Kagura again, smearing one drop each on her closed eyelids, careful not to smudge the makeup or spill the vial. It was a highly difficult task to manage one-handed. He hesitated then, but resolutely dabbed a final drop onto his index finger and, butterfly-lightly, touched it to both her lips.

She stirred once more at his last touch, her lips parting slightly in a breathy sigh. The action wafted a mixture of the sweet bite of the potion and her own scent—a blend of juniper and rain—into his sharp nose, drying his mouth to paper. If there was one weakness to him, it was in his nose…

Then those smells gave way to the rank stench of death and poison—Naraku's mark on her.

He pulled away carefully, let his eyes rest once more on Rin—_if anything happens to her, Kagura…—_climbed out of her treetop nest, landed silently on the ground.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"Silence. She might still wake up."

Jaken, knowing full well what the result of _that _would be, gulped and shut up. He was too anxious to notice that his unflappable master's hand was shaking.

…………………………………………

Sango sighed and eased a kink out of her shoulder as she slid off Kirara's back. "We might as well stop here. Even youkai sleep at night." She glanced sideways at Miroku, who was absently rubbing Kirara's ears. "Are you tired, Houshi-sama? We could rest here if you are."

Miroku, about to answer no, he was fine, thank Sango for her concern, glanced back at the taijiya and stopped. _He _may not have been tired, since all he'd needed to do today was wave ofuda around as a threat, but _Sango _needed rest. She'd been using Hiraikotsu with alacrity today, and he was under no illusions concerning the damage her weapon could deal, or the effort it took to wield it. Kami-sama knew he'd been on the receiving end of it often enough.

Besides, they were well and truly lost. It would do no good to try to find their way in the dark.

So he smiled. "Arigatou, Sango. I am tired; we can make camp here, if you'd like."

"All right. Kirara-chan, could you help me start a fire?"

They ate a dinner composed of instant ramen (lifted from Kagome's backpack by an unrepentant Miroku) and some of Sango's travel-ration fish jerky. The taijiya laughed at Miroku's expression when she told him what it was. It was good to hear her laugh; she didn't do it often. The absence of the others eventually made itself known, however. There was no Shippou to charm fantastic stories out of Kagome or adventurous tales from Sango, and there was no Inuyasha to bring back entire armloads of fresh fish from Kami-sama knew where or make an ass of himself over Kagome's ramen. They were his friends, in the truest sense, Miroku realized. He missed them.

His eyes drifted to Sango again, to the firelight playing over her dark hair and smiling eyes and curvaceous form, and he was forcefully reminded that the others' absence also meant that he was alone. In the woods. With Sango.

Suddenly, the others' contributions didn't seem like such a priority anymore. He was well aware that this was shallow of him, but this was also _Sango _they were talking about here. Brave, beautiful, lithe, shapely Sango…

The taijiya yawned and stretched, breaking off his train of thoughts before it rambled into even less innocent regions. "Gomen, Houshi-sama, could you take first watch? I don't think I'd be able to stay awake…"

"Hai, Sango," he assured her softly, smiling a little since they'd ostensibly stopped because _he _was tired. She got little enough rest as it was; he wouldn't begrudge her her pride.

"Arigatou…" Sango laid out her bedroll, tied back her hair, and curled up to go to sleep. Miroku stayed sitting by the fire, letting his gaze caress her body and wishing that he dared let his hands do the same. It was astonishing what true respect could do for your restraint. Aggravating, too.

Apparently the longing in his eyes wasn't hidden well enough. Sango's eyes flickered open. "Houshi-sama? Is there something wrong?"

"Wrong?" How was it that the times he hadn't done anything were the times he sounded the most guilty?

"You've been staring at me all evening."

He'd intended to say something light in response, try to laugh it off. What came out of his mouth was, "Just admiring you."

_That _cleared the sleep from her gaze. He could have kicked himself. Hadn't he trained himself for years _not _to say the first thing that came into his head? He steeled himself for something to the effect of a smack on the head and a muttered "Hentai."

"Houshi-sama…" She sat up. He wondered whether she realized that if her yukata gaped just another few inches then he would be the happiest man in the world. "I've been… wondering…"

"Wondering what, Sango?" Just an inch or two more…

She hesitated, then said deliberately, "What were you… planning… for afterward?"

_Eep. _He stalled for time. There was no sense getting her hopes up… or his. "Afterward?"

"Afterward." The flatness of that confirmation told him she wasn't buying his ruse for the time it took to itch a fleabite. "What were you planning?"

In his experience, honesty was only the best policy if nobody was watching. No matter how true it was, he wasn't going to tell her that he'd follow her to the ends of the earth if she happened to decide that it would be an interesting thing to do; he wasn't going to tell her that he'd marry her if he could, and raise their children with her, and grow old with her because she was Sango, herself. All he wanted.

"I hadn't really thought that far ahead."

She looked away for a moment, catching her lip between her teeth, then back at him. "I have." Deep breath.

"Have you thought of marriage, Houshi-sama?"

_Shit. She said the 'm'-word. _"Some," he hedged, meaning that he'd thought about it once or twice a second since the day he'd met her. He made doubly sure that _that _thought never showed on his face. As delightful as intelligent women were, their very acuity made it hell to live with them sometimes. Now he had to say something true enough to throw her off the scent… "It—forgive me, but it doesn't seem like something I can hope for right—"

"Don't, Houshi-sama!" His eyes widened at the vehemence with which she cut him off, unable to look away from her own, suddenly terrified, brown gaze.

"Don't act as if there won't be anything after Naraku," she continued in a softer tone, though there was no trace of yielding in it. "If you don't hope for tomorrow, you won't see it."

"Hai, Sango," Miroku answered quietly. "But you have to admit the probability that I—we—won't."

Once again, he appreciated the difference between Sango and the others. Kagome would have looked stricken. Inuyasha would have seized him by the collar and told him to shut up about it. The monk would never have said something like that to Shippou.

Sango eased herself out of her bedroll, her eyes never leaving his face. She didn't stop until their noses were bare inches from each other. Half of him screamed _Danger Danger You are now within Easy Slapping Range. _The other half retorted _Screw that, she's RIGHT THERE… go, go, go, just a little further…_

"If you get yourself killed," the taijiya told him steadily, "I will never speak to you again."

The unexpected absurdity of it shattered the mood; to his own surprise, he grinned, then began to laugh quietly. She joined in after a moment, and then the laughter swelled out too far for either of them to contain. Soon they were wiping tears from their eyes.

After that, of course it was logical to prop themselves up on each other while they recovered. And it followed the natural flow of things for Miroku to snug one casual arm around Sango's waist, and for her to relax into him. And after that it was the most natural thing in the world for them both to try to look at each other at the same time, and for it to be their lips rather than their eyes that met—

At this point Miroku's procession of thought screeched madly to a halt—only to begin ricocheting off the walls waving pompoms and screaming _Whoo-HOO! _Coherence was overrated, anyway… _this _was everything he wanted, everything he couldn't have imagined.

_If only I didn't need oxygen, _he thought regretfully as said dependency eventually prompted the two to part. He held the taijiya's gaze freely now, and even though a frankly adorable blush was rouging her cheeks, she didn't look away either.

He took that as encouragement, and kissed her again.

"Miroku…" she breathed when they separated once more, eyes half-lidded. If she'd been Kirara she'd have been purring.

Wait. Stop. Rewind…

"What did you say, koibito?"

Her eyes flew open wide. "What did _you _say?"

"I asked you first." _Please let it be that…_

"Miroku."

He knew he was grinning like an idiot, and didn't care. "Kami-sama, it feels so good to hear you say that… koibito."

Things got a little fuzzy after that…

…………….

_A/N: _WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS?


	6. Chase

_Disclaimer: _There are few things that I may call my own  
Far more are those on which I have no claim  
And Inuyasha and his friends, I groan  
To say, lie not within my reach, like fame.  
Rumiko Takahashi has the luck  
And as for me, at sonnets do I suck.

_A/N: _Eep, sorry for the long delay! Events conspire to keep me from my computer. Ah, well, here goes.

Whoo, more readers! I am happy! Grins! I shall reply!

_angicakeisinuyashasluvr:_ Thanks much! . I'll try to keep it from getting too angsty… ah, this story doesn't leave much room for that anyway.

_C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only:_ Glad you reviewed, but alas, I am not a lemon writer. I lack both the talent and the inclination. (Reading it, though… eh, meh.) Gomen nasai!

_medlii:_ Grins! Yeah, I use a bit of Japanese… it's the only vocab I know, so don't worry, it won't get much more complicated than that. I always worry about my fluff… it's hard to get the cute/meaningful balance right. Don't worry, I'm not done with Fluffy _or _Kagura. —evil chuckle—

Right, on with it!

_6_

_Chase_

Hyakunan was thoroughly confused as to what Sesshoumaru had been doing in a wind-witch's nest, or why he'd smelled so upset when he'd come down—but that didn't mean he meant to _stay _confused. What, exactly, was that little vial?

Well, there was one sure way to find out.

He didn't bother following Sesshoumaru when the taiyoukai gave Jaken the vial and sent him away; there was no way in Heaven or Earth that the inuyoukai would have confided in a strange green-haired kid. Toad youkai, however, were much easier to terrorize. Hyakunan easily avoided Jaken's nervous checks against followers, then found a suitably heavy branch and dropped it point-first on the smelly creature's head.

_Thud._

"_Urk."_

The green-haired boy was faintly disappointed; he'd thought Jaken would make a more satisfying noise than that. Oh, well. He scampered down the tree trunk and retrieved the vial from where it had bounced. It didn't _look _like anything special… just a clear, slightly pink liquid that filled about half the vial.

He squinted at it, invoked his magic-Sight—and whistled. This was some _powerful _kimchee. He checked again, and this time came up with a definite link to emotions—particularly affection. _Boy, wouldn't Dad like to get his hands on this…_

"Give that back!"

Hyakunan leaned out of Jaken's reach with a laugh. "What's in it for me?"

"I spare your miserable hide, that's what!"

The boy regarded his struggling victim in frank disbelief. In his experience, it was not a good idea to make empty physical threats when you couldn't lift a tree branch to free yourself. "What's this stuff for, anyway?"

"Nothing! Give it back!"

"Betcha don't know," he challenged.

Jaken paused, and the look in his bulging eyes indicated to Hyakunan that he was going to attempt something crafty. "Why would it interest you?"

"Dunno. You tell me why it wouldn't."

"Suit yourself." The froggish creature shrugged. "If you _want _to be crushed to death by a gaggle of squealing women…"

That got his attention. "Say what?"

"It'll draw every female within half a league if you splash it all over yourself," Jaken told him haughtily.

Hyakunan regarded the little vial with something close to awe, then squinted at the toad youkai. "So what was Sesshoumaru doing with it? Trying to get that wind demoness?" _Ewww…_

"How dare you!" Jaken squawked. "Sesshoumaru-sama has no need of potions!"

"Then what was it for?"

Something that was probably supposed to be a smirk pasted itself over Jaken's pruny face. "He was getting even with Kagura. The first male thing that happens along is the thing that she'll chase after until she dies from exhaustion—unless it's foolish enough to accept her."

"Huh." He looked at the vial again. "So it makes people…" he wrinkled his nose in the kind of distaste that only grade-school boys can muster on that particular subject "…fall in _love?"_

"To put it in terms your feeble mind could understand, yes."

Hyakunan decided not to enlighten the toad on what he could understand. If Jaken had grown up with Dad, he might have 'understood' a lot more on that subject too. Certainly more than he likely did now. "Huh." He began to wander away. "Could be useful sometimes." Especially if he could find a certain warring couple… ideas began to whirr in his mischief-honed brain. He did owe Shippou one, after all…

"Hey!" Jaken finally managed to struggle free of his pinion. "That is not for you!"

The green-haired boy laughed, dodging out of the toad's range. "Come an' get it, stinkbomb!"

"You little—!"

The toad youkai chased Hyakunan for a good two hours before the boy got bored with the game and doubled back, losing Jaken for good. It was getting dark by that time, but Hyakunan didn't mind; the best pranks were played when the victim couldn't see a thing until it was too late. He decided to go see if Shippou was still mad at him—and if he was, propose a diversion. Grownups could be so _easy _to manipulate, sometimes…

Thrashing in the underbrush punctuated by short, earsplitting shouts halted the boy in his tracks, self-preservation instincts shooting immediately to the surface. Not only were the shouts violent, they were coming from one male and one female—_nitro _and _glycerine _coming down the pike, if ever he'd heard it.

Wait—he'd heard these two before.

"I told you not to come!" Inuyasha raged, stomping through masses of defenseless, innocent foliage as if that would change the fact that he was not alone in the woods.

"And I told you where to shove that idea!" Kagome shot back.

"If you don't turn around _right now—"_

"Just _try _to tell me what to do, Inuyasha! Just _try it!"_

"You—stupid, stubborn—"

"—egotistical, chauvinistic—"

"—obnoxious, yammering—"

"—reckless, moronic—"

"—_wench!"_

"—_jerk!"_

Hyakunan listened in awe as the insults grew exponentially louder, cruder, and more descriptive. Some of the better ones he filed carefully away in his memory for future reference. He didn't dare move, not even to get a look at them; at the rate they were going, if anything interrupted them it'd get pulverized. At least the wind wasn't blowing in his face; he didn't think he'd be able to stand that much anger-scent square in the snoot. It was still a disappointment when the couple stormed onward, though. He hadn't even gotten a glimpse. Three times he'd gotten within spitting distance of the legendary Inuyasha, and he hadn't caught more than a flash of red-and-white haori? Drat it.

He'd have to start picking hiding places that didn't work quite so well. Sighing in exasperation, the green-haired boy headed back toward the village.

To his surprise, he hadn't been traveling fifteen minutes before that goal became unnecessary.

"Shippou?"

"Hyakunan?" The kitsune skidded to a stop. "What're you doing here?"

"Looking for you. What're _you _doing here?"

"Erm—following those two," Shippou confessed lamely. "I gotta warn Sango and Miroku about them… I wasn't supposed to tell where they'd gone."

"The ones you said Inuyasha chased off?" An idea began to ferment gently in Hyakunan's mind. _See a problem, fill a need…_

"Yeah." Shippou heaved a forlorn sigh. "It's no fun without them, but I _promised _I wouldn't tell…"

"If Inuyasha and—Kagome?—stopped fighting, would everything be all right?"

The kitsune regarded his friend warily. "Yeah…"

Hyakunan beamed, and produced the little vial with a flourish. "Then _this _is the answer to all your problems."

Shippou stared. "Pink water?"

"No, not pink water. It's a—" wrinkled nose _"—love potion."_

"Eeew." Respect entered the kitsune's green eyes. "You're gonna give that stuff to Inuyasha and Kagome?"

"Sure. You said they need to work stuff out, right?"

"Yeah…"

"So this stuff should help." Hyakunan lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Some inuyoukai called Sesshoumaru was using it to get even with a wind witch."

"_Sesshoumaru?_ Kagura?" The diameter of Shippou's eyes soared past the "Wow" level and well into the "Holy green griffin gravy" category. "Weeeeeird…"

Hyakunan nodded emphatically. "Yup."

"Huh."

"Uh-huh."

"Cool."

"…yeah."

"Know where they went?"

"That way."

………………………………………

Kouga paused, his sensitive ears picking up something in the trees above him. Instantly he ducked into the shadows, blue eyes scanning the branches. He considered ambushes from above a cheating maneuver, but that didn't mean that he wasn't watching out for them. It was the kind of thing Dog-Face would do. Stupid turd, thinking he could keep Kouga's Kagome safer than even the dimmest wolf could—

"Kagura-sama, look, there's a fuzzy dog-tail sticking out there!"

The wolf prince yipped and spun, one hand automatically reaching back to his luxuriant brown tail—possibly to assure himself of its continued attachment to his rear. The little human girl who'd snuck up on him squeaked and jerked her hand away from the coveted appendage.

Kouga's black brows lowered in arrogant slashes over an imperious gaze. "What the hell did you think you were doing, human runt?"

To his astonishment, the little wench scowled right back. "You shouldn't use bad words in front of Rin-chan."

He gaped at her, several responses hovering just out of reach. What the hell could you say to _that? _"Listen, you little—"

"You heard her," a crisp, enragingly familiar female voice cut him off. "Mind your language in front of children."

"_Kagura," _he hissed, shifting automatically into battle stance. The hair on the back of his neck prickled in anticipation. "Why don't you come out, murdering bitch, so we can settle our score?"

Rin gasped indignantly, but a slender white hand on her head placated her. The skirt of a red-and-white kimono edged itself into view. "You always were amusing—"

For some reason she trailed off, and Kouga snarled impatiently. "I'll show you _amusing. _Get your ass out here!"

"_Kouga," _she breathed, and this time the hair on the back of his neck stood up for an entirely different reason. The wolf prince reeled as her scent caught him full in the face. _What… the… HELL?_

Kagura stepped fully into view, and Kouga gulped. He'd seen less ravenous looks in the eyes of crazed shark youkai. "Uh…"

"Kouga," she murmured again, eyes half-lidded and so full of raw heat that the wolf youkai honestly expected the air between their faces to burn him. "So nice of you to visit."

"Eh…" He normally considered himself a fairly eloquent man, but this was _way _outside his experience. The woman who'd slaughtered his entire pack was almost literally drooling. Over _him. _There really weren't any words.

"What were you looking for?" she pressed, slinking closer. "Maybe I could… help you find it?"

He tried very hard to ignore the fact that she was quite literally stalking him and cudgeled his benumbed brain for a response. "Uh… was just… gonna… gonna go find… Kago… me…"

Kagura frowned, and the wolf prince heaved an inward sigh of relief. Pique he could deal with. Maybe if he got her mad enough, she'd give him a real fight… "Kagome? Why? They haven't found any shards yet."

He snorted, glancing past her. "As if I need the dog-turd to find shards. I was gonna go see if Kagome's come to her senses, is all. If she's gonna be my woman, she'll… have to…"

A very strange sound made him trail off; an even stranger smell jerked his gaze back to Kagura.

She was… _crying?_

"Kagome… your _woman?" _she sniffled, scarlet eyes huge and moist and appealing. "W-_why?"_

Being at a loss was starting to become a familiar state. "Uh… Kagura?"

She sniffled harder. "Why _her? _Is… is she… _prettier?"_

…_This is fucking insane. _"Er…"

"Is it because she's younger? What?" Somehow she'd advanced on him without his notice, and now her tear-streaked face was about three miles and half a foot too close to his own. "Why do you want _her _and not me?"

_Aaaaaaaaaack. _Kouga backpedaled immediately, barely escaping an undignified butt-bruising stumble over his own feet. "What the hell is wrong with you? You're acting like some lovesick bitch! Snap out of it, dammit! You're scaring the shit out of me!"

"Bad words…" Rin huffed somewhere in the background. Kouga really didn't give a snail's shit.

Kagura blinked. Once. Twice. Kouga began to hope that he'd insulted her enough to make her revert into normalcy.

"Gomen nasai… I forgot myself."

_Oh, good._ The wolf prince nodded shortly, looking anywhere but at her. "Damn straight. Don't do it again." He glanced sideways at her, then involuntarily stepped backward. _"Erk."_

"But you are not leaving me here, Kouga-kun," the wind demoness informed him serenely, locking a gaze containing more steel than a suit of plate armor with his. "I really could care less about Kagome—but _you _are staying here."

Kouga's nerve snapped like dry tinder. He bolted—or tried to. In one fluid movement Kagura whipped her fan open and swept his feet out from under him with a solid gust of wind, then hoisted him over her shoulder in blithe ignorance of his kicking and outraged shrieks. "Come along, Rin."

"_WHAT THE HEEEEELLLLLLLLLL—!"_


	7. Round And Round And Round It Goes

_Disclaimer: _Je n'ai pas Inuyasha. Je n'ai jamais eu Inuyasha. Je ne l'ai pas fait. Comprenez? Non? Mais oui.

_A/N: _—Grins and bows to medlii— Praise, my goodness. My head will swell. Been meaning to ask… is that like Medli on Zelda Windwaker?

Okay. Next chapter up! You guys remember the magic trick, with the little ball and the three cups? Ever seen the magician make people guess which cup it's in? Ever wonder how they do it?

Here's a theory…

_7_

_Round And Round And Round It Goes…_

Hyakunan's ears pricked. There was a struggle in the clearing up ahead—some sort of argument, in vehement, whispered voices. One guy, one girl. From the sound of it, if it wasn't physical already, it would be very soon.

_Yikes—got here just in time. _Fortunately, Hyakunan could put a stop to that. Focusing on the wrangling pair, the green-haired boy whispered under his breath, keeping his thoughts calm, serene, sleepy… _you are getting veeeeery sleepy…_

He rather liked that line. If he'd known which human had thought it up, he might have thanked him.

A moment more.

The next two sounds were soft, consecutive _thwump_s. Hyakunan grinned, then skittered closer.

The waning firelight distorted some of the colors, but he felt fairly certain that he'd found them. The young man sprawled out cold between the embers and an equally unconscious young woman definitely had some sort of power; it seemed a little odd, but then again Hyakunan still wasn't used to the peculiarities of this strange place. And in any case, he thought the man was strong enough in his power to be a hanyou.

The boy narrowed his mismatched eyes, creeping closer to the two sprawled figures. Yes, this had to be Inuyasha; he had a little dog-tail at the back of his head, and the loose robes he was swathed in glowed reddish in the firelight. He had no idea what Kagome looked like, but from Shippou's description—beautiful, kind, provider of candy—he judged that this was probably her.

They both smelled fairly human, oddly enough… but that was probably just the girl. Her scent was all over both of them. _Must've been some argument. _Besides, who knew how human a hanyou smelled?

Hyakunan pulled the potion from his pocket and carefully uncorked it.

_Wait. What did the old miko say…?_

Drat. How did it work? He racked his brains.

_Er… ah… oh! 'Apply to eyes… and… ears'? Oh well. Should work. _He shrugged and dabbed a bit on the boy's eyelids and gold-pierced ears.

A hiss worthy of any rattlesnake stopped him when he turned to the girl. He jumped backward reflexively, and a cream-colored ball of fur deposited itself into his vacant spot as soon as he did. The furball laid back its ears and hissed again, crimson eyes promising trouble.

"Shoo!" he hissed back, gesturing uncertainly at it with one foot. "You're not helping, y'know!"

The fur emitted a distinctly feline growl, lashing twin black-striped tails. In any other circumstance, Hyakunan probably would have found this funny; this cat-thing was barely half his size. Unfortunately, it also had teeth and claws, both of which it had pointedly displayed.

"Hey, kitty—fetch!" He pretended to throw something over its head, hoping that all housepets fell for the same tricks.

The cat sneezed deprecatingly.

"C'mon… I promise I won't do anything bad…" It occurred to him that he was arguing with a creature that licked its own behind. "Don't make me do something not nice—"

It hissed ominously.

"Fine, fine… hey, if you let me by I'll give you fish…"

One ear flicked forward.

"And cream?"

The other ear followed suit.

"And—" Neither of them got to find out what else he was willing to bribe the little fluffball with, because they both froze at the sound of footsteps rapidly approaching.

"Drat…" Hyakunan whisked out of sight. _Oh, well, it should turn out all right, _he consoled himself. _Inuyasha was the major problem anyway, right?_

………………………………………

_Rrrrrrr, I could kill him! _Kagome seethed, stamping as hard as she could over the soft forest floor in an effort to convey just how much she wanted to go back to a certain insensitive, foulmouthed, and presently squashed hanyou and sit him another couple hundred times. _WHAT is his problem? I don't go around LOOKING for fights! Why does he have to walk around with his head up his ass all the time? That—that—oooooooooooh!_

More walking, this time without the heavy percussion. _Why does he have to be so rude? I mean, he's usually rude, but not… mean. Not mean at all. _She bit her lip. _He didn't use to act this way… why? He used to act like he… cared…_

She realized that she could see dim light, and headed toward it. Maybe it or whoever had made it would help clear her stupid mind of stupid wishes about stupid, stupid Inuyasha.

At first she walked quietly; she'd run across nasty things in the woods often enough, the least of which were bandits, and she wasn't that good with a bow. Then she recognized a very large boomerang, a very tiny nekoyoukai, and a silky purple houshi's robe.

"Sango? Miroku?" Neither of the two lumpy figures lolling near the campfire embers indicated that they'd heard her. She approached cautiously, wary both of the taijiya's somewhat nervous—all right, paranoid—reactions and the houshi's penchant for feigning sleep in order to draw in prey. "You okay?"

They'd fallen asleep next to each other. Kagome marveled at her best friend's lack of foresight—that is, until she noticed the disheveled state of both their clothes.

A flush instantly smacked itself across the girl's face. _Whoa—that… this… _ She took a bit of a self-assessment, and realized that she wasn't really all that surprised. _Guess I should've seen it coming sooner. _Against all logic, she had to swallow a fit of pure envy. It didn't taste that good, either. _Sango, I wish I were you… even with Miroku. He loves you; an idiot could see it. And I'm…_

Sigh. No use denying it. Any of it.

_In love with an idiot._

They still weren't moving. Kagome knelt down next to them, a frown creasing slightly between her eyebrows. Vaguely she remembered that she was supposed to be upset with them for running off, but it didn't seem very pressing right now. "You guys? You okay?"

Nothing. She doublechecked their breathing, then Miroku's pulse. "C'mon, guys, wake up… this isn't funny…" She shook his arm for emphasis.

And squeaked at the feel of a hand on her rump.

"Kyaaaa!" She lashed out out of reflex. The houshi at her feet didn't even open his eyes, despite the brand-new handprint on his face. It was already turning a lovely shade of crimson.

"Kagome-sama," Miroku murmured. "Are you all right?"

She reminded herself that mashing his head into the ground would _not _solve any problems. "Hai, Miroku-sama. You—er, startled me."

"Gomen nasai, Kagome-sama. Forgive me for causing you dismay."

"It's all right," she assured him, smiling faintly at his ever-present charm. "Are you okay? You were out pretty good there for a minute."

"I'm fine, Kagome-sama. I only needed rest." He opened his eyes, focused on her.

For some reason, the way he widened those violet eyes made her want to put a _lit_tle more distance between her rear and that hand of his.

"You swear that you aren't upset?" he asked, capturing one of her hands in both of his.

"No, really. Well, not because of you." She tried to get her hand back. He hadn't done this—to her, anyway—in months. What was up?

His expression darkened ever so slightly. "Inuyasha? Where is he?"

She shrugged. "Somewhere back there." _And I hope he's got a headache and five charley horses._

"Moron," the houshi muttered, propping himself up on his arms. "To treat you so despicably… Kagome-sama, you don't deserve such behavior."

"Miroku," she protested gently. "He—well…"

"Kagome-sama, I cannot allow him to hurt you so anymore," Miroku overrode her. "When I see him next, I'll teach him better manners."

"Miroku," she scolded, startled at his intensity. "He's your friend!"

"Not when he treats you this way." He knelt facing her, like a rather bizarre Lancelot to Guinevere. "I love you too much to allow any further harm to come to you."

Kagome would have bet money that hadn't been minted yet that her face had no color whatsoever. At least, that's what she would have thought if most of her brain hadn't been reduced to yammering oatmeal.

"Wh… _what?" _she yelped finally.

"I love you."

The yammering stopped, but nothing tried to fill its shoes. "Buh… b…" An idea occurred to her, and she lunged desperately at it. "Miroku, if this is a joke, it isn't funny! You—I—Sango—"

"Sango will forgive me, I am sure, when I explain the matter to her. And you must forgive me also; I know she is your friend, but she cannot hope to match your beauty. Your grace. Your—"

The color had returned to Kagome's face. En masse. This was entirely too much for one night. "Listen, Miroku, we all know you're so _very _amusing, but I'm serious. Cut it out." What the hell? This wasn't his normal 'will-you-bear-my-child' schtick. _He comes up with a new routine, and then he decides to try it out on me. The bastard._

He assumed a soulful expression. It might have worked if it hadn't been the same one he used when Sango slapped him for lechery. "I am being serious, Kagome-sama. My life is yours."

"If you don't cut it out right now I'm going to cut it out _for you," _she ground out, little sparks of fury beginning to float across her vision.

"I'm afraid I could sooner cut out my heart than abandon you, Ka—"

_POW _went Kagome's fist across the houshi's face. He collapsed to the side in a very puzzled heap.

"You—_jerk! _What the hell is wrong with _you _now? If it's not one asshole picking on me, it's the other one!"

"Koibito, wha—"

_WHAM. _Other fist. Twice as hard. _"What did you say?"_

"K—"

"Just shut _up!" _Tears were stinging her eyes like fire from that one word. How stupid was that? She was crying because of one word—because it wasn't coming from the guy she wanted. "Leave me _alone! _If you _ever _come near me again, or call me _that—" _she punctuated herself with a kick to the protesting houshi's ribs "—I swear I'll… I'll…"

She couldn't summon any words horrific enough to describe Miroku's fate at her hands should he disobey her. She settled for storming off through the nearest thicket of branches, not caring whether she were walking through reeds or nettles in her fury. She couldn't even hear Miroku gather up his staff and chase after her, holding his head and calling her name.


	8. In This Fierce Vein

_Disclaimer: _Unless Rumiko Takahashi decides to will her entire Inuyasha industry copyrights to a short, procrastinating, completely unknown American teenager in dire need of college money and a job, I don't own Inuyasha and company, and never will.

_A/N: _Yet another chapter! I find myself enjoying this, which is good. I've been a bit bored recently. By the way, the title stems from a line in Midsummer Night's Dream (I don't own it, blah de blah de blah…) A3 S2, if you were wondering. Or you could just see the movie. That rocks too.

Another thing: I require feedback on an idea of mine that involves a new take on a fairy tale, featuring—you guessed it—the Inu-Tachi. Something about a girl whose father dies and leaves her in the care of an evil, power-hungry social climber with two daughters… and, by the way, a prince's hand in marriage is at stake. . Yes, it's kinda old, but still good! I bet I can surprise you, too. No idea what I would call this 'borrowed' creation of mine; ideas are welcome.

Yes, Penthesileia, I know I'm evil. Mwahahahaha… but don't worry, I'm not THAT evil. Kikyou, as far as I know right now, will not be making an appearance. And I like happy endings. .

Oh, and a fluff warning for all you people who aren't fond of it… and please don't shoot me, C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only. Or anyone else. (You'll see why. I would shoot me too if I were reading this… or at least scream long and loud at me.) Or at least read A Midsummer Night's Dream before you shoot me. .; It will get better, I promise!

_8_

_In This Fierce Vein_

Sango was on the ground. While this wasn't necessarily an unusual occurrence, her last memory had been of nestling into her bedroll. What had happened in between?

_Miroku._

She shot upright, then gritted her teeth against a flood of invective as her head complained loudly, with bass drum accompaniment. "Aaagh…"

Headache. Yukata half-open. Memories of whispers that made her blush ferociously to think about—and not all of them had come from Miroku. _Oh, Kami-sama… we didn't…?_

Her panic subsided a little; as skilled as the houshi undoubtedly was, even he couldn't have done _that _without removing her clothes a good deal more than they were. Still, what about the headache?

_We weren't drinking._

Then her attention snapped to the third Very Wrong thing with this picture: there was no monk in it. His bedroll was still by the dim campfire, but his staff and his person were not.

_He went off without telling me? _She scanned the darkened clearing as closely as she could with eyes and ears to make sure he hadn't just gone to sit watch outside the area—not that that was any smarter than wandering further afield. What had possessed him? At night, no less?

_And right after we… almost… _ Automatic Brain Shut-Up discontinued that thought. She really didn't have time for this.

"Mrowr?"

"Kirara?" The little fire-cat leaped into Sango's lap, rubbing her black nose against one of the taijiya's hands. The girl stroked her pet's thick fur, then asked, "Did you see where Miroku went?"

Kirara blinked. Sango suppressed a sigh of annoyance; even if the nekoyoukai had been able to make herself understood, she probably wouldn't have bothered. Those red eyes were distinctly and purposefully blank.

"Where were you when all that was going on?" she asked ruefully, referring to the… erm, incident. Normally Kirara was an exceptional guardian, particularly where her taijiya was concerned. Kirara sneezed in response. Sango sighed, then shooed the cat off her lap and pushed herself to her feet. "Keep close. We might as well go look for him." _And make him explain himself. And politely inquire whether he's gone insane. And then grab him and— _Automatic Brain Shut-Up hastily snapped into place again. She banked the fire, gathered up Hiraikotsu and the rest of the gear, and pushed all less-than-demure thoughts of a certain houshi to the back of her mind, where they snickered and plotted their escape. She tried valiantly to ignore them, and set off through the foliage.

She had hardly gone anywhere at all when a shout from directly behind her arranged a fleeting introduction with coronary failure.

"_Sango! What the hell were you doing?"_

Fortunately she recognized that voice, or she might have taken his head off on principle. She nearly did anyway. Did he have to be so _abrupt?_

"Inuyasha, if you do that again, I swear—"

"You run off with the damn monk after a few spats, and you try to tell _me _what you'll do if I do that again?" the hanyou growled.

"I did not 'run off,'" she retorted icily. "Any more than your hourly ritual is 'a few spats.' The houshi-sama and I merely came to an agreement."

Inuyasha scowled, then raised his eyebrows. Sango tensed as his nose twitched. _If you say one word, Dog-boy…_

"Agreement, huh?" A smirk tweaked the hanyou's former glower. "Keh. Since when does 'agreement' mean crawling all over—"

"Finish that sentence and I will ensure that you never sire children," she informed him sweetly through clenched and bared teeth. Inuyasha gulped at her expression, and wisely did not continue.

"Speaking of him, you haven't seen him, have you?"

"What, you lost him already?"

She didn't dignify that with a response, though her eye twitched a few times in involuntary threat. "I was thinking he found something out of the ordinary and..." _…what? Couldn't take the time to wake me? Didn't want to disturb me? Thought I'd get in the way? No, not that. He's not stupid._

…_mostly._

"He can't have gone far," Inuyasha offered when she made no motions toward completing her sentence. "You humans don't cover much ground on your own."

Spending time with Inuyasha had gotten the taijiya well used to backhanded attempts at reassurance. For him, that was as close to a 'there, there, it'll be all right' as she'd ever seen. She smiled a little at the hanyou. "Do you think you could find him?"

"Keh." It was Inuyasha's turn to pretend that the question hadn't been asked; he just bent to the ground, rather as if he were Davy Crockett with dog ears. Sango could hear him sniffing, though. She kept her giggling silent with an effort. _All right, now, come on. Bad me. Stop that. It's not his fault he sounds… like a… puppy… _She bit the inside of her cheek to stifle a fresh wave of snickering.

"Got him." Inuyasha straightened. "He went that way—" Black brows suddenly crouched like very startled cats. "—with _Kagome?"_

That cured Sango's laugh attack. "Kagome-chan? What's she d—oh." Stupid question. If Inuyasha went somewhere, Kagome would think up some reason to follow him. It was kind of sweet, but Sango privately thought her friend was fooling herself more effectively than anybody else. Well, except maybe Inuyasha.

"I told her to go back to Kaede's!" the hanyou growled, stalking forward and nearly leaving Sango eating dust in the process. "But oh, noooo, she _had _to follow me in and then use the damn necklace and run off and get herself lost in the damn woods and run into the damn perverted bouzu—"

"He wouldn't do anything," Sango snapped, practically running to keep up with Inuyasha's indignant strides. Kirara was clinging to her shoulder with a tenacity she rarely displayed this far away from bodies of cold water. _Bloody hanyou going too damn fast for his own good—_

"That's what _she _said about him and you!"

The taijiya wondered if Kagome really _needed _her doggie-eared loudmouth crush back in one piece. Surely she wouldn't mind if he got dented in one or two places… or six or eight…

…………………………………

"Would you care for some gyoza, Kouga-chan?"

"Mmbfrghth!"

"No? Some tako, then?"

"Fgrthbmmmmmf!"

"Mind your language around the child. I really hate having to do this to you, but with those legs of yours…" A highly appreciative scarlet gaze glided along the limbs in question. "…there really aren't that many options. I can't have you running away, and you aren't being cooperative."

"_Khhhfmwthmft!"_

Kagura sighed and moved his bowl out of upset range. He wasn't taking captivity very well; she'd had to resort to actual physical ropes to supplement her wind-magic, in order to keep from tiring herself out. Her little nest, though safe from Naraku's prying spies, wasn't all that deep; she had to keep him in the center to ensure he didn't fall out. And feeding him was another thing entirely, even without the gag (to protect Rin's virgin ears from her beloved prince's vernacular). The way he was thrashing about, it would probably be better to hand-feed him.

Say, that was a good idea. _In more ways than one…_

"You _must _be hungry, koishii," she coaxed, scooping up the rice bowl in one hand and running the fingers of her other one lightly over his cheekbone. He stiffened, but didn't try to bite this time. That last attempt had rather embarrassed him, she surmised. _She'd _quite enjoyed it. She couldn't remember the last time _any_thing had fallen facedown into her lap, much less something so gorgeous. "If I take off the gag, will you promise not to swear in front of the girl?"

"Can Rin-chan feed him, Kagura-sama?" the little girl asked, bouncing eagerly up and down in front of her own empty bowl.

Kouga blanched and shook his head jerkily.

"No, Rin. Maybe another time." She had no intention of allowing anyone to play with her precious wolf prince anytime soon. It was long odds against her allowing him to see any more human girls, since it seemed he had a weakness for them.

Well, she'd soon cure him of _that._

"Well? Do we have a deal?" she prompted her pinned paramour.

He eyed her warily, then gave a grudging nod. She smiled brilliantly at him, and tugged the cloth free. "There. Are you sure you don't want gyoza?"

"Why the he—" He glanced at Rin, then the abandoned gag, and corrected himself. "—eck are you doing this to me, b—wench?"

She gave him a hurt look for the name, but answered readily. "Because you want to run off."

"No, da—drat it. Why's it such a f—big deal if I run off?"

"Because I love you," Kagura said simply.

For a moment she wanted nothing more than to glomp him until he couldn't breathe. How could anyone look so unbearably _adorable _when they were clueless? His expression resembled that of a wolf puppy whose favorite bone had been stolen by a grossly oversized chipmunk. Possibly one with two heads. _Must… not… cuddle to… death! _She smirked faintly to herself. _Well, not right away…_

"Wh—wha—w—" He seemed to be having trouble speaking. Kagura waited patiently, though the impulse to huggle him to within an inch of his life was beginning to win. She settled for stroking those furry leg-warmer-boots he always wore. _Wonder if I can get to his tail next…?_

"Are you fu—totally _insane?" _he managed to gasp. "Y—you killed my entire pack! You work for Naraku! You keep trying to steal my f—stupid shards!"

She bit her lip, guilt washing over her. Her hearing was as superb as any true-born youkai's; she could literally feel the pain in his voice over his dead packmates. "I'm so sorry for your pack, Kouga. I really am. It—there's really no excuse, is there? Except—well, I can't choose who my father is." _May he rot in the lowest hells in existence sometime very soon. _"He controls me totally," she added with great reluctance. _Unless I can find a way to kill him._

She briefly considered pitting Kouga against Naraku, but immediately dismissed the idea, with no small amount of horror. She could easily imagine Naraku tearing the wolf prince into fish bait, simply to make her scream. _You're strong, koishii, but even you can't match my bastard father._

Out of nowhere, an image of arctic golden eyes under a blue crescent and long, silky ice-white hair popped into her mind. She blasted it away, unnerved. _Where the hell did THAT come from?_

"So… that whole 'ha ha you're helpless against me' thing was an act, was it?" Kouga inquired, his tone sarcastic but still unable to disguise the waver of anger in his voice.

Kagura frowned. She remembered that too… when had she first realized…? "No… but… I've been thinking about you since we first met." _Yeah, that sounds about right._

Kouga blinked. "Hn?" Kagura smiled, the expression growing as she noticed a faint pink tint spread over his cheeks. _Ooh, I need to do that more often… my gods, you're practically edible, koishii._

"Er… eh…" The wolf youkai stammered for a bit, then hauled the conversation back to more familiar ground. "How do I know you're not just trying to f—jerk around with me?"

The question stung; she didn't have any proof, and in his situation she might have said the same.

_Um… wait… _She mentally snapped her fingers. _What the hell, it works in fairy tales…_

She didn't hesitate for more than a breath, because otherwise she would've wondered why she thought this had a chihuahua's chance in a lion den of working. Easing herself up from her sitting position, she placed both hands on either side of his face and gently pulled him down until she could press her lips to his own.

For half a second it was like kissing a block of marble. Then, to Kagura's utmost delight, Kouga began kissing her back.

Why the _hell _was she thinking about crescent moons right _now?_

She reluctantly pulled away from the wolf prince, fairly certain that not only was her lipstick smeared and her face powder smudged, but that she was blushing just as much as Kouga.

Well, damned if she was going to sacrifice _all _her dignity in one breath (or lack thereof). She sat back on her heels, cocked her head, and pushed a small smile onto her face. "Believe me now?"

Then she lost it again when Kouga bent down to kiss _her._

_A/N: _Yes, I know, you're all trying to kill me now… —ducks heavy weaponry— eep, I promise I'll fix it!


	9. Lord, What Fools These Mortals Be

_Disclaimer: _—sigh— You enjoy making me suffer, don't you? And me with no sleep either. Damn you, copyright people. All right, I don't own Inuyasha or anything related to him or his homies. And, though it's my favorite saying to date, I do not own the line that titles this chapter, because it can be found in A3 S2 of A Midsummer Night's Dream. In short, I have no possessions that make me any amount of money. Happy now? Makes one of us.

_A/N:_ Hey, longest chapter to date! Hardest, too. Finally got it done.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeep, my gods and goddesses! Such vehemence from all of you! I told you I'd fix it, didn't I? Put the big bludgeons _down!_ And watch the movie/read the Cliff's notes for Midsummer Night's Dream like medlii (arigatou for doing that… probably decreased your stress and mine. And yep, she can be a tad scary sometimes… eh, well, can't blame her. Probably doesn't get much action as Naraku's daughter… —haul mind out of gutter now—). Doing either of those will be guaranteed to decrease your homicidal tendencies. I promise this isn't forever!

Okay, about this chapter. The song in this one is called Kagome Kagome, and I picked it because it's the only simple kind of song I know in Japanese. (All right, it's the only song I've ever heard of in Japanese… or could find the lyrics to. .;) It's the song to a children's game, and I thought it was something Rin might sing. The full version is here:

_Kagome, Kagome, kago no naka no tori wa  
Itsu itsu deyaru?  
__Yoake no ban ni  
Tsuru to kame ga subetta.  
Ushiro no shoumen dare?  
_

And the translation is here:

_Kagome, Kagome, the bird in the cage  
When will you come out?  
In the evening of the dawn  
The crane and turtle slipped.  
Who stands right behind you now?_

Okay. Whoo. Longish note. On with it!

_9_

_Lord, What Fools These Mortals Be_

"You did it?" Shippou asked eagerly when Hyakunan trotted back to the tree they'd designated as their hideout. "You got 'em? Kagome and Inuyasha?"

The green-haired boy nodded in a gesture of utmost satisfaction. "While they were sleeping. Easy peasy."

"Cool. Let's see 'em try to fight _now."_ Both boys grinned hugely.

The grins disappeared as a childish voice an octave or two above theirs announced itself somewhere nearby.

"_Kagome, kagome, kago no naka no tori wa…"_

Shippou frowned. "That sounds like that human girl that follows Sesshoumaru around…"

"A human girl?"

"Hai. I think Kagome said her name was Rin, or something…" They both peered through a clump of concealing bracken, wary of the bright moonlight.

"…_tsuru to kame ga subetta, ushiro no shoumen dare?" _A pigtailed little girl wearing a red-and-white checked yukata was singing the nursery rhyme to herself as she added some bellflowers to the little bouquet in her hand. The two boys traded glances, unsure of how to take this. On one hand, she was distracted and not looking up—fair game for whatever pranks they could think of. On the other hand, they weren't sure how she'd react. If she went crying to Sesshoumaru, for instance…

Rin finished singing and looked up at a songbird that had picked up where she'd left off. It happened to be sitting in the same bush as the two pranksters, and they hadn't hidden themselves quite as cleverly as they'd thought.

"Oh!" To both boys' perturbation, she didn't seem the least bit concerned. "You're the kitsune that follows Inuyasha no baka!"

Hyakunan grinned at the epithet, but Shippou bristled. "Well, _you _walk around with a talking toad-wart and Sesshoumaru no baka."

The innocent smile vanished instantly, replaced by what would someday develop into an impressive arsenal of full fury. "Don't you dare call Sesshoumaru-sama a baka! He knows everything in the world—and Rin-chan bets _you _don't even know your foot from a frogfish!"

"Do so!"

"Hah. You lie, too. Sesshoumaru-sama doesn't lie."

"I bet he does."

"Does not!"

"Does so."

"Does not!"

"Sesshoumaru's a liar…"

"He is not!"

"Liar, liar, li-ar…"

"He is _not!" _The hapless bunch of flowers lost their heads, decapitated by Rin's outraged grip. Hyakunan raised his eyebrows as she continued at full volume. What _was _it with girls? He'd seen older ones do the exact same thing in defense of his Dad. Sometimes while Dad was watching them, though they never knew it. _'Cept those girls were lots taller, and didn't sing kid's rhymes…_

Maybe she wasn't quite the same as Dad's girls. After all, then where would the wind witch be in this? The taiyoukai had gotten extremely upset over _her_, unless Hyakunan's instincts were completely mistaken… and, being his Dad's son, they never were.

By now Shippou looked as if he'd been facing a tornado; even his hair was pulled flat against his head in an attempt at defense. Little girls were _scary _when they wanted to be. Hyakunan briefly considered watching to see if it got any more entertaining, then decided to be merciful. Plus, he was curious again.

"Where is Sesshoumaru, anyway?"

Rin had paused for breath, so the change of topic didn't faze her too much. "Rin-chan doesn't know. Rin-chan is staying with Kagura-sama. She's teaching Rin-chan wind magic," she confided.

"Sesshoumaru let you stay with Kagura?" Shippou asked, evidently deciding it was safe to metaphorically come out.

Rin thought for a moment, then shook her head. "Rin-chan hasn't seen Sesshoumaru-sama, but Rin-chan is safe with Kagura-sama. She's very strong." The little girl wrinkled her nose. "But now Kouga no baka is with Kagura-sama, and she isn't teaching Rin-chan anymore. She and Kouga no baka have been wrestling for a long time. She put Rin-chan on the ground when they started." She sighed. "Rin-chan is bored."

Hyakunan noted idly that the odds that Sesshoumaru had explained certain things concerning men and women were extraordinarily low, and decided not to educate Rin. Dad had never fully explained it, either, but considering _his _powers, he hadn't needed to. Observation was education enough in that case.

As his Dad had inadvertently taught him, though, such things were _immensely_ entertaining to interrupt.

He was about to suggest this to the other two when a sharp _WHAP _resounded off something hard and dense somewhere dangerously close by.

Rin squeaked and whirled to see what it was, but Shippou and Hyakunan were more experienced at this and yanked her into the bushes with them. It was just barely in time; the source of the battle emerged an instant later, cursing at the top of its lungs in an astonishingly familiar fashion.

"Damn violent bitch! What the hell was that for?"

"For being an asshole," the young woman snapped, still gripping the boomerang with which she had obviously just beaned the doggie-eared boy glaring at her. "I know it's too much for you to be civil to Kagome-chan to her face, but do you have to insult her behind her back as well? To _me?"_

"I was not! I—"

"'_Screeching like a constipated cat' _isn't an insult?"

The little nekoyoukai on the girl's shoulder hissed. Hyakunan frowned. _Hey… I know that cat. Isn't _that_ Kagome…?_

"That was Kouga I was talking about, wench! Listen for one damn minute, why don't you!"

"Or _'stubborn as six stuck goats'?"_

"Yeah! No! Shit—mind your own business!"

"Or 'never here'?"

"Yeah—hey." The boy colored as if he'd been dipped in warpaint. "Th—er… I mean—dammit, shut up."

"Mm-hm."

"Don't go 'mm-hm' at me like you just won, or something!"

"Mm-hm."

"Dammit, stop that!"

"If you say so, Inuyasha."

Hyakunan abruptly learned exactly what everybody meant by a 'sinking feeling.' It felt as if everything but him had suddenly gained twenty feet of height. _…'Inuyasha…' is that guy…?_

_Oh, crap…_

Shippou squinted at the bickering pair as they moved away. "Huh. Would've thought that Inuyasha would stick with Kagome from now on… I mean, if that stuff works and all. Seems like Sango and Miroku hardly leave each other alone, anyways."

"Eh heh…"

The kitsune looked away from his peephole and noticed Hyakunan's distinct lack of animation. "What's with you?"

"Er… who did you say those guys were?"

"The lady was Sango. She's a taijiya, but she's nice." The fox kit's green eyes narrowed. "You know Inuyasha, right?"

"Um…" The bark on that tree was suddenly and utterly fascinating. So was that bug crawling across Rin's foot. And the moss growing on that rock…

"You put that pink water on him a little while ago, right?" Shippou was definitely agitated.

"Eh… I put it on a guy a little while ago," Hyakunan hedged.

"_Who?"_

"Um…" The green-haired boy gave up. "A guy with earrings and a robe. He had some sort of glove with beads on his hand."

Shippou smacked his forehead. "You put that stuff on _Miroku?"_

"Is that not good?" Hyakunan asked in what he hoped was an innocent voice.

"Sango's gonna kill me!" The kitsune was half passed out from hyperventilation. "We've gotta find him before he finds some other girl, or I'm dead! And _he'll _be dead, too!"

"What happened to the nice lady who follows Inuyasha no baka around so much?" Rin asked cautiously. "The one in the very short green yukata?"

Shippou's eyes, already huge with panic, nearly popped out of his head. "He _can't _find Kagome! She'll kill him too!"

"I can try to fix it," Hyakunan offered shamefacedly. He felt bad; he'd wanted to do something nice, and gotten it tangled up worse.

Shippou spun on him. _"No. _You give me the pink stuff. I'll do it, I know which one is which. How'd you put it on last time?"

"I put them to sleep."

"We'll have to, if we want to get Inuyasha to cooperate," Shippou muttered. "Okay, you follow, and do that _when I say so."_

"Rin-chan wants to come too!"

The boys looked at her uneasily.

"Rin-chan is coming too," the little girl told them hotly. "This is much more interesting than Kouga no baka!"

…………………………………

Sometimes Inuyasha thought he could cheerfully become a monk. With the notable exception of Miroku, they didn't deal with women. Particularly not infuriatingly calm women with outrageously expressive Looks and entirely too much arm muscle. (He rubbed his bruised and lumpy crown surreptitiously, checking to make sure Sango had gone.) Or stubborn, vocal, violent, touchy, big-eyed, short-skirted, fearless, matchless, beautiful—

_AaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaaaagh! _He banged his head repeatedly on a tree trunk that happened to be convenient. Why him? _Bam. _Why now? _Bam._ Why the _hell _did he have to keep thinking about her? _Bam. _He didn't _need _any more distractions! As if Naraku and the Shikon shards weren't enough, there was Miroku's curse, Sango's family issues, Shippou in general, Inuyasha's own youkai blood and his temperamental sword, Kagome's modern-day home and her insistence on visiting it, Kikyou—

He bashed his head one more time, hard enough that the tree suffered a permanent dent and the pain of collision momentarily distracted him from that all-too-familiar road of thoughts. _Don't fucking need this right now…_

It worked so well that two seconds later he conked out.

……………………………

"Quick, he won't stay down long!"

"Gimme the pink stuff—"

"Rin-chan knew Inuyasha was a baka. Only a baka would hit his head against a tree."

"Sesshoumaru no baka…"

"He is not!"

"Is too."

"Is not!"

"Quiet! You'll wake him up!"

"Hai, hai."

………

"How do you put it on?"

………

"Rin-chan thinks Hyakunan-kun forgot…"

"I did not!"

"Then tell me how to put it on…"

"…On his eyes and nose."

"You're sure?"

"Hai, of course I am!"

"Rin-chan has heard Jaken say the same thing when he doesn't know."

"I do _so."_

"Whatever. It should work anyway."

"Great. Now let's get out of here before he wakes up."

………………………………………………

_What the fuck just happened?_

Inuyasha groaned and cursed faintly as his head complained at full volume. For a moment there he'd thought he'd heard the brat's voice, and a bunch of other brats with him. Why the fuck was he on the ground?

Oh. He'd been banging his head.

…That couldn't have been it. He'd been thrown headfirst through trees a hell of a lot bigger than that one and kept conscious. _Shit… I have no idea what happened._

That wasn't good at all. It didn't help that his eyes felt somewhat gummy, as if he'd been out for a while. And his nose was stinging, too—although that could've been the tree. He sneezed, then glanced warily around. Nope, nothing—no sounds, no smells, nothing to see or freak out about. Yet.

Faint but distinct noises behind him. Yelling. His ears flicked toward them, registering the sounds as familiar.

_Very _familiar.

In fact…

"—why would I lie? Look at me—please, Kagome-sama! Do you think I could look you in the eyes and lie to you?"

"You do it well enough every other time! Get _away _from me!" The hanyou's ears flattened instantly at Kagome's vicious snarl. _Fuck, she's pissed! What the hell'd the bouzu do now? And why's he sounding so whiny?_

"I beg of you—"

"Just shut _up! _What about Sango, hm? If you're _not _lying to me, then what about her? You shithead, she's in love with you!"

_What does that—_

"I regret it, but Sango will—"

"_Don't _you even start that again! You _asshole!"_

—_have to do—_

"She will survive—but your infatuation with Inuyasha—"

"_Don't you say a damn word!"_

"He can't love you, Kagome-sama!"

—_with shi…?_

The question abruptly cut off in his mind as she came bursting through the greenery in front of him.

She froze.

He froze.

_Holy fuck…_

It was, he would later admit to himself—and no one else—something like taking one step from pitch darkness into dazzling, pure sunlight. She was covered in bits of leaf and lichen. Her hair might have been brushed a day or so ago. Furious tears had stained her eyes and cheeks puffy red, and she would probably kick herself later when she had to mend all the rips in her clothing.

She was stunning beyond words.

"Inuyasha…" She seemed to have lost her former enraged verbosity.

In a role reversal that everyone would later consider nothing less than astonishing, however, the hanyou said the first thing that came to his mind.

"Kagome, I love you."


	10. Hell In A Handbasket

_Disclaimer: _If these were my characters, I wouldn't feel too bad about putting them through this… but I don't own them, so I feel remorse. A little. Kinda. Not really.

_A/N: _Eep, if you got pissed off at me for chapter eight, you're all really gonna kill me now. Arigatou for the reviews; I love the feedback (wow, I didn't know I was so humorous!) and I promise that the pairings I've stated _are_ the ones that will happen, but you _really _have to be patient; this is where it gets ugly, folks. Also long. Buckle up, your safety hatches are… well, anywhere, but the end is where you get off, so pleeeease don't jump ship too early. If it seems a tad OOC, just remember that anger is a nasty, nasty beast when it's not properly collared… —cross self— Right, here we go. Don't shoot me, I'm wearing Kevlar this time.

_10_

_Hell In A Handbasket_

"I swear, I'm going to _make_ Kagome put him on a leash…" Sango grumbled as she hauled herself up to the next branch on the tree. "A collar isn't enough." She stifled a yelp as an inch-long splinter became intimately acquainted with the fleshy pad of her thumb, and dragged it out with even more grumbling and muttered curses, mostly directed toward a certain disappeared, blameless-for-once hanyou. "He needs a _choke chain." _This was high enough, she judged more out of exasperation than anything, and stilled herself to listen.

Night noises. She could hear the soft _shush _of owl flight if she really listened, and see their wings flash in the scattered rays of moonlight as they hunted. Unfortunately, unless Inuyasha was closer than she'd thought—and she'd have heard if he was—then there wasn't much chance of her seeing him in the tree cover at night. It would be far easier to locate him by sound, especially from a good height, when he was as pissed off as he had been recently.

Sure enough, she only had to be quiet for a few moments before the distinct tones of pure fury reached her ears.

_Wait… that's not Inuyasha. _Not without a miracle… the voice was female. Familiar, too, after a moment. _Kagome-chan?_

_He must've found her, _the taijiya reasoned as she shinnied down the trunk and slipped back into her yukata, which had been briefly discarded in favor of her less restrictive slaying uniform. _Even Miroku can't make her scream like that. _"Kirara, I found them."

The little firecat mewed, twining around Sango's ankles. The taijiya smiled and picked up her cat, settling her on her usual shoulder perch. Kirara didn't seem to want to sit still, though; her tails flicked constantly, and she insisted on halfway falling off every time Sango moved too suddenly. "What's wrong?"

Kirara just mewed and darted glances everywhere. It looked as if she were trying to watch every bug in a cloud of gnats simultaneously. Not for the first time, Sango wished one of them could speak the other's language. She sighed and kept moving toward Kagome's steadily shriller voice.

"—could believe—but _you? _What—gang up—"

"—_his _fault—lying—never—before—"

"—shut—already said—Sango—"

The taijiya halted at her name, then sped up a trifle. All three of them were there… what in Kami-sama's name could they _all_ be so worked up about?

"—_both _bastards—making fun of me—sick of you—"

"—keep your f—hands off—back to Sango—"

"—not true—"

Why did they keep saying her name? Her gut twisted tighter with every half-running step she took toward the fight. Kirara was holding on for all she was worth, but her taijiya didn't even notice the tiny needle-claw tracks that would probably hurt like hell in the morning.

"—go back to her—_NOW!"_

Sango had barely gotten a glimpse of Kagome's yellow backpack and Inuyasha's red haori in a tiny clearing before a body slammed into her, and she subsequently crashed into the tree she'd just passed.

"_Aaahh—_Miroku?" The bruises on her ribs took an immediate second place to the young man in her arms. "Where've you _been?"_

To her complete astonishment, he actually shook her off. "Away."

She'd have been furious if she weren't so bewildered. _What the hell kind of answer is that—? _"Wha—Houshi-sama, have you lost your mind? Why'd you get up and go like that? What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was following the one I care about more than anything in the world," the houshi answered curtly, stalking back toward Inuyasha and Kagome, the former of whom was fending off wild verbal attacks from the latter. "You were safe enough. Kagome-sama was not."

Sango had been stabbed before. She rather wished she could have avoided the experiences. This, though, felt as if she'd been run through with the blunt end of a small tree, all the worse for being so totally unexpected. _He—he left me._

_For Kagome-chan?_

"Miroku…" Her brain had gone straight from being fit to explode with questions to a numb, buzzing blankness. Some clinical part of her mind, had it been functioning, might have compared it to the shock that followed a serious battle wound. Pretty soon it would register that that had _hurt._

Ah, there it went.

"_Miroku!" _she burst out. "Why are you _doing_ this?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Miroku shot back, now trying to reach Inuyasha's head with his staff and being half-successfully blocked. "I've chosen. I am sorry to have wasted your time, but there isn't anything you can do. I love Kagome-sama."

"You _what?" No… this is not happening…_

"You're in on this too, aren't you?" Kagome wheeled on her without warning, shaking off both tussling suitors. "Sango, stop it! What did I ever do to you? Did _that _asshole put you up to it? Why are you doing this to me? You're my friend!" The younger girl was nearly in tears of hurt fury.

"I—I—" The taijiya didn't have the slightest idea how to take this. "Kagome-chan, I don't know what you're talking about! Why am I doing _what?"_

This turned out to be the most wildly wrong thing she could have said. Kagome's grey-blue eyes practically snapped with enraged bolts of lightning. _"Fine! _Keep going at it! Keep pretending! What, did you think I was so desperate and _stupid _that I'd actually _believe _that he'd look twice at me, much less tell me he _loves _me? _Either _of them? Sango, I thought _you _at least I could trust! Guess this teaches me about having _friends!" _She whirled away from Sango, heading toward the forest's heart.

"Kagome-sama, stop!" Miroku broke away from Inuyasha's attempted headlock with difficulty. "Please!"

"Aren't you just so polite about it," she spat acidly over her shoulder, not stopping. "But then, that's what you are, aren't you? A charming liar!"

"Miroku—" Having no clue what to do with the emotional strain, Sango's body reacted on its own, reaching out to snag the runaway houshi by the arm. "Miroku, leave her alone! _Stop, _dammit!"

"Listen to your wench," Inuyasha grated, seizing the monk by the back of his collar and sweeping his feet out from under him hard enough to make Miroku curse. "Or I'll _make _you."

"Like hell," Miroku snarled, already struggling to his feet. "You can't even keep Shippou in one place!"

"Oy—"

"Kagome-sama, _listen _to me." No matter how fast Sango and Inuyasha grabbed for him, Miroku was across the clearing and seizing Kagome's hand in the space of a deep breath. "If there is any way to prove to you that I am sincere to the depths of my soul, please, tell me!"

Now Inuyasha was there, yanking the girl's hand out of Miroku's reach. "Fucking pervert never said a true word in his life, Kagome, you know that. And I know I was an idiot, but I'm telling you now, I love you."

Surprise gave Sango the strength to blink. _Whoa… the end of the world must be approaching… Inuyasha admitted he was wrong?_

Miroku tried to reclaim Kagome's hand, and earned his fingers several unpleasant cuts from the hanyou's claws. "Some lover you are. Were all those insults and fights your way of saying 'Hey beautiful'? Kagome-sama, I tell you that I love you a thousand times more than _he _ever could."

Inuyasha snarled low in his throat, cracking his knuckles one-handed. "Like to prove that, hentai?"

"Name a place," Miroku shot back.

"Oh, for—!" Kagome yanked her hand free of both of them, leaving them to grapple by themselves. "You stupid chauvinist jerkoffs, I shouldn't have expected anything else!"

If Miroku went against Inuyasha in earnest, someone would end up dead. Sango dashed forward, seizing the monk by the scruff of his robes. "Miroku, _no."_

He tried to shove her away. "Sango, don't interfere!"

She wasn't a taijiya for nothing, but the contempt in his eyes nearly destroyed her considerable strength. "You can't fight him, you're friends! I don't know what's happened to you, but you _have _to remember that, at least! You can't fight him!"

"She's right about that," Inuyasha taunted. "Puny human."

This time, Miroku succeeded in shaking her off. "Sango, for the last time, _go away!"_

"No!" Sango shouted, her voice cracking frantically. "What's _wrong _with you?"

"Nothing a sharp stick up the ass wouldn't cure," Kagome growled, trying to struggle free of Inuyasha again. "Osuwari!" He hit the floor in a minor explosion of debris, but wouldn't let go of her; she ended up on her rump, shrieking even louder.

"Oh, open your eyes!" the monk spat, wheeling to face her. This time she stepped back involuntarily at the scorn in his gaze. "Don't tell me you can't see what's in front of you. You're smart enough to figure it out!"

Sango shook her head violently. "I see you acting like you're possessed! Miroku, it's _me! _Why are you acting like this?" She was not going to cry. Not. _Not. NOT!_

He stuck his face a little closer to hers, but without the hopeful intimacy he'd displayed earlier. "Because I have chosen someone else," he stated coldly.

So that was what a shattering heart sounded like.

Tears streamed down her cheeks in hot mockery of her numbness.

"You—you said—just tonight—that you loved me," she whispered hoarsely. "You… said."

"I was mistaken."

Silence. The forest could have combusted on the spot and it would have been a relief.

The stillness was broken by a half-roared _"BakAAAA!" _as Kagome delivered a solid kick to a protesting Inuyasha's ribs and stormed away—right between the ice-eyed monk and the shattered taijiya.

Sango's world narrowed to two things.

_Miroku. Hates me._

_Kagome. He loves her._

The moving target became the most obvious one.

"_You—BITCH!"_

Even Miroku staggered back at that decibel level. Sango was literally shaking with rage, brown eyes almost glowing hatred in the darkness, spearing her flabbergasted best friend.

"_What did you do to him?" _The taijiya advanced on Kagome, one stride punctuating every step until she was screaming two inches from her nose.

The other girl recovered swiftly and with equal viciousness. _"You're _calling _me _a bitch? I'm not the one torturing my 'best friend'!"

"Define torture!" Sango screeched. "What, did you agree to that stupid question of his? How long have you been screwing him behind my back?"

"Maybe as long as you've been stabbing mine!" Kagome shrieked. "You've got practice!"

"_Practice?" _ Sango might have towered over the modern girl if Kagome had given an inch. "Is that it, you're just so much more _sweet _and _feminine _than I am? You don't do any _real _work, so you can stay _pretty_ for him?"

Neither of the two males could tell which girl was more terrifying by this point; they'd been frozen since the initial blowup, in the interest of self-preservation.

"I'm the one who doesn't have to care about my looks because I don't _have _any, is that it? I'm saving your ass _and _his because that's all I'm good for? _Armor?"_

Kagome's eyes narrowed to venomous slits. "If the shoe fits. It's not like you actually _care _what I think, anyway, is it?"

Moment of lethal silence. The taijiya's voice broke it with a hiss that wasn't any less homicidal than her bellow. "At least I can kick your scrawny little ass _away from him."_

Then she lunged.

Miroku and Inuyasha's jaws dropped with simultaneous _pop_s. There was just no way that the two girls rolling on the ground, kicking, screaming, clawing, and scalping each other could be quiet, dignified Sango or gentle, compassionate Kagome. The phrase _Fucking impossible _ran at lightspeed through both their minds for approximately three seconds.

Then their altered instincts kicked in and they both rushed in at the same instant. Since most of the laws of physics generally agree that two objects cannot occupy the same space at once, the result was that both boys were catapulted backward by the force of their colliding foreheads. More profanity was added to the already invective-laden air.

Inuyasha was the first one to get close enough to try to separate Kagome's nails from Sango's ear and keep the taijiya from succeeding in strangling the modern girl. His results were mixed.

"Gutless—mincing—"

"Lying—vicious—"

"Sango, get off her!" Miroku pried the slayer's fingers free and attempted to full-nelson her, again with only some degree of success.

"Keep your wench leashed, bouzu," Inuyasha growled, though Kagome was by no means submitting to the hold he'd been forced to use on her; she wasn't done fighting any more than Sango was.

"Screw that, Inuyasha, let me go! My _hair!" _Her scalp was bleeding from an attempt to snatch her bald—and, even worse, caked with a large and previously unnoticed clump of—er, duck butter. "You skank, I'm gonna kill you for that!"

"Oh, right, with what? Batting your big—baby—blue—_eyes?" _Sango bucked in Miroku's arms, but he managed to hang on just long enough to sling her sideways—into a tangle of very stubborn vines.

"Getting her out of the way so she doesn't get hurt, huh, bouzu?" Inuyasha sneered, still trying to soothe Kagome (who was alternately aiming for his eyes and crotch). "How sweet."

"I refuse to listen to your shit-spewing. Release Kagome-sama." Miroku strode across the clearing and hefted his staff.

"Keh. In your—"

Kagome added weight to Miroku's argument by lashing out backward with one foot and a lot of anger—and connecting. The inuhanyou's eyes bugged, and whatever he'd been about to say came out as a very squeaky-voiced "Meep."

Miroku tried to reach for Kagome, but she spat something unprintable at him and wobbled toward her abandoned backpack—and, incidentally, toward the vines that should have been withering under Sango's livid curses. Reassessing the situation was not hard for the monk; he turned his glare to the far safer target that the hanyou made. "Shall we settle this?"

Inuyasha had managed to regain some semblance of dignity and speech capacity. "Anytime," he rasped.

Miroku lifted an eyebrow. "Should I give you a moment?"

The hanyou spat a hair-whitening obscenity, which bounced off Miroku's affected nonchalance with an audible _ping. _The monk sauntered away, leaving the hanyou to follow.

The two girls looked at each other. It was their turn for a simultaneous thought: _Men._

Sango dragged a vine away from her neck, pretending to ignore the way Kagome just stood there, looking so hurt that for a moment the taijiya remembered that this was her best friend, that they'd been as close as sisters less than twelve hours before.

"Kagome," she said finally, extending a hand. "Help me up?"

The other girl started, then wavered, torn between an apparent peace offering and the furious insults that had only ceased a minute ago.

Hurt welled in Sango's heart; Kagome wasn't moving, didn't want to accept a truce, didn't want to be friends again. She withdrew her hand.

"All right," she muttered. "If you think I might be rabid…"

Anger flared in Kagome's eyes. "Fine. Who knows. You might be right about that." She stalked to her yellow backpack and hauled it away into the forest.

Sango stared miserably after her, not even struggling against her bindings anymore. It would be a long five minutes before she picked herself up. _What the hell is going on? Why did this happen?_


	11. Getting It Right

_Disclaimer: _Now that most of you've tried to kill me at least once, I've gone into the witness protection program and have even fewer possessions than I did before. Inuyasha and Co. are still not among them.

_A/N: _Hey, wow, I didn't need the Kevlar! Thank you all for being so patient, my readers. Especially after that last chapter… man, I was morbid when I wrote that. I promise promise promise times five thousand with cherries on top that this'll turn out all right! Really!

Another note; sorry for the delay, I just spent four days in Anaheim with all the rest of my Band Geek friends doing competition stuff and goofing around (more than 24 hours of about 80 were spent in DISNEYLAND —happy dance— and I'm still exhausted from it). So I shall not prolong the wait—on with it!

_11_

_Getting It Right_

Rin studied the kitsune carefully. "Do you think Shippou-kun will be all right, Hyakunan-kun?" she asked doubtfully.

"He'd better be," the boy muttered. "I _said _I was sorry…"

"Rin-chan thinks Shippou-kun screams like a little girl."

"Mmph." Hyakunan wasn't in a mood to comment on the fox kit's reaction to their attempt at mending the fractured couples. The best that could be said about it was that it had only been loud for a short time. Still, this stage of it wasn't much better. They'd had to close his mouth when flies kept investigating it, and he hadn't moved since then.

Rin waved one hand in front of Shippou's blank green eyes. "Shippou-kun, you look like Inuyasha no baka when you do that…"

"Do not," he mumbled.

Hyakunan peered into Shippou's face, searching for further signs of life, but it had apparently been a one-time deal. The kitsune's eyes were still glazed with shock, and he made no move to shift from his propped-up position against a tree trunk. The green-haired boy sighed disgustedly. _Man, he's dramatic. I _said _I was sorry, already! And it probably won't even be permanent, since I couldn't remember how to do it right. _Hyakunan grumbled a little under his breath, mostly concerning faulty memory, stupid grownups, brain-dead toads, and overreacting kitsune.

Rin flicked Shippou's nose experimentally, then tugged his tail. Then petted it. "Oooh, soft!"

Hyakunan winced slightly; there was something demeaning about that…

On the other hand, some tiny, as-yet-undeveloped part of his mind wondered if a tail like that could have benefits. He shook it off. That was silly. It was probably all this inactivity, he decided. He needed to do something. What?

An image of the hanyou and the monk going off to fight each other sprang to mind, and he winced again. That was going to be nasty…

_Hey, wait. _He mentally snapped his fingers. He could stop that, at least for a little while. It was already early morning; they were probably totally exhausted by now. If he could spell them asleep again, they might stay like that at least until dawn. Maybe he could figure out what to do with them then.

He glanced at Rin and Shippou, figured that this close to the forest's edge they could take care of themselves for five minutes, and took off, following the scent trails he now recognized. _This time I'm getting it right._

…………………………………………

"Jaken."

Whimper. "Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"I will ask you this once."

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama." Snivel.

"Why did you not tell me _exactly _how to apply that potion?"

"I tried, Sesshoumaru-sama!" Jaken bawled, fully expecting to be hacked to ribbons several short moments from then. "You told me to be silent! It's not my fault that it wears off if it's not put on right! Don't hurt me! It's the miko's fault—"

Sesshoumaru didn't say anything to the toad's babbling. He had given that order, he remembered. Any noise might have woken Kagura; her ears were as good as his. Jaken had obeyed his orders.

Of course, that really was beside the point, since his intent to humiliate Kagura had just been completely and utterly foiled.

_Wait… _ Perhaps not. The inuyoukai's golden eyes slid toward the direction of Kagura's nest, where by now she had to have run across a male of some sort. Humiliation didn't have to be permanent. And, if it was true that the potion would come off, he had a bargaining chip: if she returned Rin, he would return her to her senses.

_If she wants to be returned…_

He shoved that thought violently away, then wondered why. It wasn't just that he feared losing Rin; it was also… what was it? His thoughts were liars, that was the only explanation, he decided. The idea that Kagura might not loathe the idea of being with another male was _not _upsetting. He was never upset. It was impossible.

_Damn that woman._

He set off for the wind witch's tree, moving quickly in an attempt to outrun his traitorous thoughts. It didn't really matter if she sensed the winds' change now; he wanted to be recognized.

_And Kami-sama help any other creature I find in that tr—_

He glided faster.

…………………………………………

Shippou's tail, which Rin had been stroking for a while now, suddenly fluffed out with a vengeance. She glanced up, confused, at the kitsune's face, and blinked. He'd gone from looking totally burned out to looking like he'd figured out how to turn granite into rubies.

"Shippou-kun?"

"It's not permanent!"

Rin stared at him. "Rin-chan thinks you are more of a baka than Inuyasha no baka, Shippou-chan… what are you talking about?"

The kitsune jumped up and grabbed her shoulders, bouncing up and down in elation. "It's not permanent! I'm not gonna die! It'll wash off! I _love _Jaken for this!"

He ran off before Rin could remark that he was almost certainly crazy. Why would anyone love Jaken? And why had Shippou brought him up in the first place? She hadn't heard anything…

…………………………………………

The wind caught Sesshoumaru full in the face when he was ten yards from the tree, and if he'd been going any quicker he might have fallen over from the smells he detected. As it was, he staggered. His nostrils flared in disbelief, and so did his eyes.

_Kouga._

The wolf youkai was in Kagura's nest. There were other scents there, too—including the very fresh traces of lust and satisfaction.

He barely kept himself from ripping the tree down and disemboweling the wolf. Barely. Something was growling low and murderously in its throat; it took a moment for him to realize that it was him, and stop.

_It is no concern of mine what she takes into her bed. She answers to no one. Least of all me._

The part of him that was still eager to tear the tree down was screaming, _BULLSHIT! KILL THE FUCKING BASTARD!_

It was an increasingly attractive idea.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?"

Jaken's squeak was nearly his last. It took several moments of reminding that servants willing to risk decapitation several times a week by their master were extremely hard to come by for Sesshoumaru to keep himself under control. He also reminded himself that the energy was misdirected; Kouga was the one he wanted to reduce to lumps of furry paté. Jaken might be useful someday. Maybe.

"Stay here. Don't move if you are fond of your head in its present shape." The harshness of his own voice surprised the taiyoukai. Jaken, already petrified, practically kissed the ground in an effort to appease his inexplicably furious master. Sesshoumaru ignored him and soared up to the treetop.

Kagura was curled up, as she had been last time, but this time there was no little girl in her arms. Sesshoumaru may have termed Kouga many things, but 'little girl' was not one of them. The two of them had had clothes—if you could call the ratty wolf furs the black-haired youkai wore 'clothes'—but they were now functioning as blankets and bedding. Kouga was snoring.

It took every ounce of willpower the inuyoukai had not to toss the wolf prince out of the tree and stomp on him. Instead, he stared at Kagura, who was stirring.

It occurred to him too late that her lack of clothing might be a disadvantage to him—damn it, he was staring! _Stop that! Stop it!_

Her scarlet eyes flew wide open, and she shot upright—which, of course, only exacerbated his visual dilemma.

"Sesshoumaru!"

"Kagura…" What had he wanted to say? This was distracting… and ridiculous. He'd seen her nude before… well, not exactly. He'd pulled her out of the river with a hole punched in her chest, and spent the time until she'd woken up and covered herself facing the other direction. This was slightly different… and the overpowering scents in the nest were _not_ helping any.

Why was she blushing? And—unless he was seriously mistaken—she was smelling… mortified?

Well, at least one thing was going to be easier. He forced himself to raise an eyebrow. "I see you've been… busy." His eye twitched despite his best efforts.

She flushed even redder. He could practically feel the heat radiating off her… the blush was going all the way down to—_no! Keep away from there! Do NOT go that way! Do NOT think about that!_

His gaze was in no way obeying him—and worse, she noticed. Humiliation immediately evacuated, making plenty of room for anger. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same about _him." Kami-sama, I did NOT just say that. I did NOT sound like some jealous lover… _"Your choice of bedmates is poor, Kagura."

"How could who I sleep with possibly interest you?" she shot back, her tone matching him for iciness. "You've already said you have no interest in what happens to me."

"I never said that." He could have kicked himself. He sounded _petulant._ Whatever trickster god had hold of his mouth, he hoped it bit its tongue. Soon.

"You refused to help me! How does that tell me any different?" the wind witch snapped. "You as good as told me to fuck off and deal with it myself!"

"That doesn't give you an excuse to go off and—" He gestured outragedly at a still-sleeping Kouga. (Maybe he was dead. Nope, still breathing. Damn it.)

"Well." She regarded him coldly. "It followed your implicit instructions, anyway."

"Why _him?" _It burst out before he could slap it back into the deep recesses of his thoughts where it belonged.

She blinked.

"…You care." It was soft, incredulous, and not a question.

He just looked at her, for once in his life at a total loss for what to say. Of course he couldn't say that he did—that would be the crown on this whole ludicrous conversation—but he _could not _make himself deny it. He was trying. It wouldn't come out.

Her wide, confused gaze sharpened to a glare. He could detect suspicion in her scent. "Why?"

He grabbed desperately for an explanation, no matter how lame. "He is beneath you. You sully yourself."

Wrong thing to say. _"Sully?" _she repeated scathingly. "Think of who my father is, you idiot! What could I possibly do to lower myself more than he has?"

"Being born Naraku's daughter does not make you worthless!" Sesshoumaru clenched his fist hard enough to draw blood. He hadn't shouted in so long, it hurt.

"You thought so!" Kagura yelled back.

"_I did not!" _he roared. "I _never did!"_

"You _still _didn't think I was _worthy_ enough for you to _help me!" _she shrieked.

"_YOU CAN DO IT ON YOUR OWN!" _he bellowed.

"_NO, I CAN'T!" _she screamed. _"I've TRIED! Don't you think I would've tried EVERYTHING to get away from him?"_

They glared bloody murder at each other. Kouga snorted and turned over in his sleep. He was ignored.

Sesshoumaru was breathing heavily for the first time in several centuries. Regaining his composure was a lost cause and he knew it, but he attempted to recover rational thought. "You are strong enough to fight your own battles, Kagura," he told her quietly._ No one has ever stood up to me like this without using a weapon._

"He has my heart," she countered bitterly. "He could kill me with less than a thought."

"Yet you've survived this long, in rebellion," he pointed out.

"Survival isn't even close to battling," she retorted. "I can't fight him one on one. It's no contest."

"I never said I'd make you duel him," Sesshoumaru corrected softly. "I said I would deal with him on my own terms."

She glared at him. "Well, ex_cuse _me for not reading your mind. Some of us get used to being shot down after a while."

"I did not refuse you."

"You never said yes, either." Now, to his utter shock, her scent was flooded with deep hurt. Anger was there, and he could understand that—but distress? It made no sense.

Then again, nothing about this entire scene made sense.

The sound and smell of her pain was doing very peculiar things to his instincts—something akin to what Rin's presence did, but quite emphatically different. He tried to pretend it was the fault of certain smells lingering in the nest. It didn't work.

His canine instincts wouldn't let him alone until he did something in the way of comforting her, so he compromised: he sat down next to her (as far away from Kouga as possible) and looked her in the eyes. A few bolder impulses muttered something about _not enough,_ but also realized that if he went any further, she could and probably would deck him. "As I have said numerous times before, you are not weak. Perhaps—" he inclined his head in concession, stopping her attempted protest "—you are not as strong as he, but that doesn't mean you can't fight him."

She regarded him, searching his eyes for something. "In tandem?" she suggested finally. "Taking turns firing—with someone equally strong?"

A tenuous alliance. It was something he never would have considered even half a year ago—_I have never needed anyone—_and yet he found himself answering, "Yes."

She smiled. Just a little, but she did. And she relaxed slightly—enough that the kimono she'd been covering herself with sagged, barely stopping in time. More ludicrous thoughts began to crowd into his head.

Kouga snorted and kicked, drawing attention to himself. Sesshoumaru was abruptly very sorry that he'd had that stupid idea about the pink potion—

_Ah, that's right. It isn't permanent. _The day suddenly seemed marginally better. "He sleeps as if he is already dead."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "He can't hear anything. I blocked his ears when you came up." There she went again—he swore she was blushing. Had she ever blushed before? "Glad I did. I wouldn't have thought you'd react like that. You know. When you've got the whole 'Lord of the West, taiyoukai, all the expression of an iceberg' thing going on."

He wondered if he should be miffed. "My face is not frozen."

She chuckled a little. "Not literally, no. You should've seen it when you came up—" She colored again, obviously remembering the circumstances in which he'd found her, and changed the subject. "You don't like Kouga."

In this instance, he didn't think she'd take his head off for telling the truth. Youkai weren't expected to like each other. "No. Why do you?"

In any other circumstances, he would have been confused at the hesitation on her face. _Of course she doesn't know why. She doesn't know she's been drugged._

Was that _guilt _making all that racket in the back of his head?

Her eventual answer was non-commital. "He's handsome."

"Is that the only reason?"

The confusion was liberally mixed into her scent now, and she covered it with an annoyed glare slanted toward him. "What, jealous?"

For the love of Kami-sama, he was _not _going to blush at that. _Not. _"No. Just… if that's all, perhaps you should look elsewhere."

Her narrowed red gaze on him nearly made him squirm. "Are you sure you're not just jealous?"

If he couldn't answer that question for himself, he certainly wasn't going to for her. He stood, and remembered his original errand. "Where is Rin?"

"Safe." Neither her scent nor her face told him anything, though she had to have noticed him dodging the question. "Don't worry. I'm not done with her yet."

Oddly enough, he wasn't as worried as he had been. She had said Rin would come to no harm, and he believed her. He had no idea why. "When you are, bring her back. I assume you will know how to find me."

Without warning, she smiled, slightly playful. It made his mouth go dry for the second time in eight hours. What a record. "Of course."

His hand darted out to grab hers, squeeze briefly, and release it before her eyes had a chance to widen. Then he was gone.

_Why do I care so much about this woman?_


	12. Reflection

_Disclaimer: _Search the first non-dialogue paragraph. Anybody who can name that (animated) movie and the character who said the line will get imaginary cookies, an e-hug, and the distinction of being as big a movie geek as I am! Bonus points if you can name the voice actor! Unfortunately, I will not be able to award Inuyasha and Co. to anyone, because I don't own him. No matter how big a movie geek you are, you can't have him.

_A/N:_ Ack, ack, ack! Is summer _supposed _to be this crammed? No, it isn't, but that's why I've not updated in forever and a day… also, this chapter would not get written. I've had to bribe the cast with ramen and pocky, and what with no job my funds have been short. (note: 'no job' does NOT mean 'no work'… it just means 'no pay.' As of graduation day…) Fortunately, I start job training Thursday (yay for dumb, stubborn luck) so I will shortly have bribing money. Just not any time… Cookies to medlii for being wonderful and reviewing (yeah, Kouga gets shafted a bit… am working on that, 'cause I think he's adorable even if he can't take a hint worth a damn).

Eh, enough of my bitchin' and blitherin'. You've waited very patiently, so on with it.

_12_

_Reflection_

"So you figured out how to get it off?"

"Yep. It'll wash off."

"You're sure?"

"…Positive."

Hyakunan decided not to voice the opinion that only fools are positive; it wouldn't go over well, and he doubted that Shippou would recognize its origin anyway.

"So. First we need to find them…"

Hyakunan shrugged. "Easy. I put them to sleep."

Shippou's eyebrows raised. "Oh. That's easy, then."

Slight pause.

"Have anything we could carry water in?"

Another slight pause. "…No." Then, more brightly, "We could scrub it off."

"With what?"

"…Clothes, I guess."

Shippou grumbled. "I hate wet clothes…"

"Any better ideas?"

"No."

"Okay."

Shippou sighed heavily, then looked around. "Rin?"

Hyakunan frowned. "What, she didn't come with you?"

"No."

They looked at each other.

"D'you think Sesshoumaru would…?"

"Nah. He doesn't know she was with us."

Pause, in which they considered what would happen to them if the inuyoukai knew more than they wanted him to.

"Maybe she found him already," Hyakunan said doubtfully.

"Maybe."

Two beats.

"Let's check."

"Yeah—hey, what about the other guys?"

Hyakunan grimaced. "Forgot. Let's pair 'em up like they're _supposed _to be, and get back to them later."

"Okay. Maybe Rin found a bucket…"

………………………………………………

Kagura decided to leave the spell on Kouga; with luck, he'd stay asleep long enough for her to erase most of Sesshoumaru's scent from the nest. After the inuyoukai's reaction to Kouga's presence, she didn't want to risk an equally angry reaction from the wolf prince over particular smells.

Sesshoumaru's question bothered her. _"Is that the only reason?" _Of course it wasn't. Kouga was handsome, and… strong, and… fast…

Kouga had asked something similar when she'd had him tied up—she hadn't given him a real answer, either…

She shook her head, trying to clear some of the fog from it. It wasn't a question of whether she adored Kouga; she knew she loved him. But the question was still a mosquito bite that she couldn't ease no matter what she did. _Why?_

She definitely felt a headache coming on, perfectly in time with the approaching dawn. Her eyes felt slightly gummy, too. The wind witch decided on a bath. _That'll feel good. There shouldn't be too many pests around the river at this hour. Then I can find Rin—_she felt slightly ashamed of herself, leaving the child to fend for herself like that… but considering what had been accomplished in the girl's absence, she wasn't _that _sorry—_and sort out what I'm going to do about Naraku now._

She carefully checked the area around the river before she judged it safe to shed the outer kimono she'd thrown on and submerge herself in the water. After that incident with Fluffy—_staring at me like that… ogling, lecherous bastard…—_she was rather self-conscious, which was remarkable in itself. What was even more remarkable was that she didn't know whether she minded or not.

_Wonder if he liked what he saw…? No, dammit! Not going there! Not a chance!_

_Even if I think he did… he didn't exactly stop himself…_

She rubbed one hand thoroughly over her eyes and down her face, trying valiantly to scrub those nasty, insidious, delighted little thoughts away. Even when he was gone, Sesshoumaru wouldn't leave her alone.

_Maybe I don't want him to…_

She was extremely surprised when she couldn't find a single retort in her own mind to counter that. She dipped under the water's surface again, meticulously wiping her face as she came back up. Where the hell had that come from? Was she really that attached to the inuyoukai? What about Kouga?

…_What about him?_

This was so far past creepy it wasn't even funny. Two minutes ago she wouldn't have voiced that particular rhetorical question to herself. She finished scrubbing, pulled herself out of the river, and lofted herself back to her nest.

Kouga still hadn't woken up. He was curled loosely in a ball, long hair framing his face like black silk around an adorable cameo, lightly snoring. She waited for the now-familiar upwelling of tender affection that came with the sight of him.

Nothing.

She mentally prodded herself. _Kouga? Wolf youkai? Man you just slept with? The guy who squeaks like a puppy when you—_noooooo, not gonna go there.

She stared at the man she quite clearly no longer loved. Who was wearing her obi on his tail.

_Well, shit, _she thought, quite calmly. Calm was good. It was better than speculation over this new turn of events, and the hysterics that would probably follow it. _What do I do now?_

…………………………………………

There was only so much sitting around a girl could take.

For Rin, it was a little over five minutes.

She couldn't help it. Whenever Sesshoumaru-sama took off, she knew that she was under no circumstances to leave the place where he'd left her, and she reasonably assumed that the same applied to Shippou-kun. However, there were a few major differences: (1) Shippou-kun was not, by any stretch of the imagination, Sesshoumaru-sama.­ (2) She didn't have Jaken to pester for amusement, so she was bored. (3) She had no specific and/or binding instructions. (4) She thought she'd seen something bright and pretty just over there…

In any case, once she'd caught the bright, pretty butterfly, she realized that she didn't have a clue where she was. Fortunately, this was not a problem.

"Kagura-sama said that she could hear Rin if Rin called," Rin reasoned aloud, using the butterfly as her audience. "Rin will just call Kagura-sama. Hopefully Kouga no baka isn't with Kagura-sama, even if his tail is fluffy."

Speaking of fluffy, where was Sesshoumaru-sama? "Rin hasn't seen Sesshoumaru-sama in over a day. Maybe this is a good thing," she confided to the insect, "since he never lets Rin stay up so late past bedtime." The butterfly showed no interest in her soliloquy other than a distressed flutter of pink and orange wings, but Rin decided to take that as commiseration. "No," she reconsidered after a moment, "Rin misses him." He was Sesshoumaru-sama, after all. Not having him there was a bit like not having the sky there.

The butterfly attempted to communicate that it had urgent business elsewhere. It was ignored.

She brightened. "Maybe he will let Rin see Kagura-sama once in a while. Especially since Kagura-sama seems to like him a lot more than any other lady he's met. And," she added significantly, "Sesshoumaru-sama definitely likes Kagura-sama; Rin can tell. He speaks more around her than around anybody else—well, except maybe Inuyasha no baka, but that's because they're brothers and brothers always insult each other."

She appeared to hold a brief inner debate, then added conspiratorially to her captive audience, "Rin also knows that Kagura-sama comes closest out of anybody to making Sesshoumaru-sama smile, and that's definitely a good sign."

The butterfly resigned itself to its fate.

Rin sighed. "Rin really wonders about grown-ups sometimes. Do they always try not to do what they most want to do?" She shook her head. "They are very silly. Even Sesshoumaru-sama."

Oh, well. They also made food and beds, and she was getting hungry and sleepy. She released the very relieved butterfly, then wandered off. "Kagura-sama…"

…………………………………………

"Stupid naïve little girl," Jaken snorted. "Talking to a butterfly, of all things… and about that of which she knows nothing! Sesshoumaru-sama and the wind witch… bah. Simpleton…"

It took a moment to realize that the guardian of said child was standing right behind him, fully aware of the toad youkai's disdain and more than capable of punting his vassal halfway across Japan for his unwisely voiced opinions.

Jaken froze, recited a prayer for a swift end to every god he could think of, and waited to be pummeled.

It never came.

The squat youkai peeled one tightly-scrunched eye open. "S-sesshoumaru-sama?" He chanced a look up.

The inuyoukai wasn't moving at all. He was barely breathing. This was a marginal change from his normal appearance of arrested grace, but the main difference that this posture had from his normal one was the look on his face.

Sesshoumaru-sama of the long-perfected Ice Mask was… gaping?

_He was. _The youkai lord's thin mouth was slightly, but definitely, open. Jaken's eyes bulged further with surprise. _"Sesshoumaru-sama?"_

Sesshoumaru didn't hear the toad at all. His mind was still running through Rin's words, particularly the sentence about his smile.

"…_Kagura-sama comes closest out of anybody to making Sesshoumaru-sama smile…"_

He knew she wasn't lying. The girl wouldn't lie even to a butterfly. It therefore might have followed that she was mistaken…

…Except she wasn't. He knew it was true, damn it.

_And if she's right…_

"…_Kagura-sama seems to like him a lot more than any other lady he's met…"_

…_is that true?_

Sesshoumaru _very _rarely felt like a blithering idiot. Today, however, seemed to be his day for it.

He stepped over Jaken without a downward glance, heading in the same direction Rin had. _I'm getting that damn potion off of her._

He didn't really want to think about what would happen after that. If he was lucky, she'd only take a few chunks out of him. If he wasn't…

He really hoped he was lucky.

…………………………………………….

In the woods, four bodies lay sprawled within a fifty-yard radius of each other.

One small figure stopped by each of these bodies, then appeared to concentrate intensely on each of their faces. The body would then laboriously rise a few feet off the ground a minute or so later. They were not cooperative bodies; they lolled and flopped like corpses.

It would, in all probability, have been easier to move them if they _were_ dead, but that would've defeated the purpose somewhat.

Eventually, all four were arranged to the small figure's satisfaction, paired carefully at the center of a miniature clearing near the forest's edge. A second small figure came to check the first's progress.

After a brief pause, the male halves of the two pairs were quickly switched.

Short silence.

"They gonna wake up soon?"

"Yeah. You wash 'em off?"

Another silence.

"I'm _never _doing this again." The two short figures trotted off, slightly more speedily than they'd come.

"Yeah. Too much trouble…"

_A/N:_ To catch your attention, I've put this at the end. . brilliant me... okay, not brilliant, just odd.I mentioned this in a past chapter, but nobody responded, so please tell me yes or no or whatever you think… I like feedback! On the back burner (another reason this chapter has been so long in coming) has been an idea of mine that involves a new take on a fairy tale, featuring—you guessed it—the Inu-Tachi. Something about a girl whose father dies and leaves her in the care of an evil, power-hungry social climber with two daughters… and, by the way, a prince's hand in marriage is at stake... Yes, it's kinda old, but still good! I bet I can surprise you, too. No idea what I would call this 'borrowed' creation of mine; ideas are welcome.


	13. Hands Against Hearts

**_New A/N: _Okay, I moved into college, spent a loooooong time sorting out how to _survive_ college, and came back to this chapter on a random whim--to find that no, I do NOT like the ending for it! OOC to the max... okay, here's the new, revised edition. Sorry for the hiatus... I promise I'm working on it!**

_Disclaimer: _You know, if I really did own all these guys I don't know whether I'd be having so much fun making them twitch. So, no, not really. (The Point: I neither own nor profit from the characters, names, and settings below.) The title of this chapter stems from Shakespeare's _Much Ado About Nothing _(another most excellent read… or viewing, if you want to watch the movie instead), A5, S3. Don't either own I it.

_A/N: _Guess what? This's gonna be a long one! But it was such _fun… _yes, it's fluff. Kinda. You never can tell with these two… they're so much alike it's almost impossible to get them to _do _anything. But it's the Lucky Thirteenth Chapter, so hey, I got it done in record time! Gomen if it seems a little rushed… I got more ideas than I could handle while writing this.

Now, replies. medlii: —shrugs— Hey, if it works, use it… And I don't think I'm done with Kouga yet. He must be toyed with a bit more, I believe… —cackle with glee— Thanks for your feedback. . C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only: Hai, I told you they would! Just have faith. .

For this chapter, much thanks must go to TailFluffGirl, Niamh, and a whole bunch of other Sesshy writers out there for being so wonderfully creative with that pesky fluffy ice face and providing me with inspiration. (If you really want a laugh, read the Kurama arcs at the beginning and end of almost every chapter of Ithilwen K-Bane's This Can't Be Good. It features the aforementioned Ice Face—as portrayed by Niamh—in the last few parts… well, I laughed my ass off. Read the story too, it's wonderful.)

Okay, I'm done plugging… on with it.

_13_

_Hands Against Hearts_

Kagura really didn't know what to do.

Obviously the first thing on the list was to make sure Kouga didn't wake up anytime before the fast-approaching dawn, and that wasn't exactly hard—did all men sleep like rocks, or was it just a wolf youkai thing?—but it was the stuff that came after that was giving her trouble. What, for example, was she going to do about Rin? Or Sesshoumaru? Or the fact that whenever she thought about said dog demon her face turned red as a radish?

She made men dance for her even in death, but she had no experience with the hold a man could have over _her—_not this kind, the type that didn't come from power over creation.She'd never had a crush. She'd been born from a fleshpot, for Kami-sama's sake. She didn't even have the excuse of genetics for these stupid 'hormones.' She hadn't known she'd _had_ them until… well, Kouga if you wanted to get technical, but really it was Sesshoumaru who had first triggered them. This was new, unfamiliar, scary territory.

A faint whisper of a passing breeze twined around her like an affectionate kitten. She absently ran her fingers through it as it brushed against her face—then stiffened and darted glances everywhere, suddenly paranoid.

For a moment, she'd smelled _him._

"Kagura-sama!"

She made herself relax as Rin trotted through the underbrush to tug at her kimono sleeve. "Kagura-sama, Rin-chan would like to go back to the nest now."

Guilt—another feeling she wasn't familiar with—gnawed at Kagura. She'd left the girl to fend for herself for so very long, in a forest that wasn't known for its forgiving nature, because _she _had wanted a little fun with someone she didn't even like anymore. She combed her fingers through Rin's fine, dark hair. "All right, Rin. Did you have fun?"

"Hai, Kagura-sama." The little girl grinned happily. "Rin-chan made friends."

"Oh?" She smiled a little, wondering whether those 'friends' had taken well to captivity. Rin had a habit of creating names, lives, and (temporary) homes for most of the stray creatures that crossed her path. "Which friends did you find?"

"Shippou-kun and Hyakunan-kun."

The wind demoness blinked. "Odd names, Rin."

Rin shrugged. "Rin-chan didn't pick them."

Kagura had begun to suspect that these two weren't Rin's normal run of 'friends' when Rin glanced at something standing behind the woman, grinned, and waved. "Shippou-kun! Hyakunan-kun!" She tugged at Kagura's hand. "Kagura-sama, meet Rin-chan's friends!"

Kagura found herself turned around to be presented with two small boys, one a redheaded, green-eyed kitsune cub, one a green-haired, mismatched… youkai?

In any case, both were as pasty as rice pudding.

She nodded slightly to them, being polite for Rin's sake. From the obvious shock in their eyes, they'd have had the sense to keep out of her way under normal circumstances.

_Wait… _Her eyes narrowed. The kitsune looked familiar.

"Shippou-kun and Hyakunan-kun were playing with Inuyasha no baka and his friends," Rin chattered on. "They gave them a funny potion that made them yell and fight, and now they're trying to fix it."

_That _was where she'd seen the kitsune cub before. He was one of Inuyasha's little cadre. Now that she thought about it, this forest was part of Inuyasha's territory, wasn't it? Kouga had even mentioned something about the hanyou's miko—Kagome, that was it.

_Eeegh. I can_not _believe I did that, _she winced inwardly, remembering her initial reaction to Kouga's mention of Kagome. _…Why the _hell_ did I behave like that? _Another question she didn't have an answer to.

"Kagura-sama," Rin asked innocently, "where is Sesshoumaru-sama?"

She was about to reassure Rin that they would find Sesshoumaru soon—relatively—when a faint scent caught on a whiff of breeze screamed, _Right behind you!_

She whirled to find the inuyoukai staring at her from maybe ten meters.

This time there was no mistaking the effect he had on her: she wanted to laugh, yell, cry, freeze up, fall down, leap at him, maybe give him a few bruises—but she was _glad to see him._

Worse, she thought she saw a flicker of something happy in _his _eyes.

_How the FUCK did this happen?_

"Kagura-sama?" Rin was tugging at her sleeve again. Belatedly she remembered that Rin still couldn't see Sesshoumaru or his servant. The wind charm suddenly seemed spiteful; she'd seen how Sesshoumaru behaved around Rin. She'd seen him do for her, without being told, tasks that he'd killed others for thinking about asking him. He behaved as though she were special, as if she could ask far more of him than anyone else—and he'd do it, for her.

_Like he behaves around me…_

This was making a hellish sort of sense. Kagura mechanically removed Rin's shield. "Over there, Rin."

Rin turned, saw her beloved inuyoukai, squealed, and pelted toward him. "Sesshoumaru-samaaaaaaaaaaa!"

The youkai lord gave one of his rarest almost-smiles as the little girl hugged his legs ecstatically. From him, that was as much as a hug that was never meant to let go. "Rin."

"Rin-chan missed you, Sesshoumaru-sama," she told him matter-of-factly, standing on his feet. "Did you have fun?"

Golden eyes lifted momentarily from the child's eager face, met briefly with crimson. Kagura wished dearly that she could've looked away, but those eyes were all she could see. "It was… educational, Rin."

She bristled at what he might have been implying, then abruptly let go of it. _She _might have made a comment like that and meant something by it, but it wasn't Sesshoumaru's style. He meant exactly what he said.

_Shit. _She half knew what he meant, but she didn't want to… but she did. _This was not supposed to happen._

She wasn't supposed to love him. She wasn't _free _to love him…

"Kagura."

She forced herself to maintain her cool. "Sesshoumaru."

One eyebrow lifted. "Not 'Fluffy'?"

She blinked. _That couldn't have been… _"Was that humor?"

Instant Ice Face. "No."

She knew better. And, suddenly, she felt better too. She tossed her head and drawled, "Well, then. The world isn't ending after all."

A slight upward tilt at the corners of his mouth, equivalent to an amused grin. "That seems accurate."

Then his eyes slid to where the two small boys were still frozen and watching. A distinctly annoyed note colored his tone. "What are they doing here?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Gawping like fish, of course. And you can wipe that exasperation right off, because I don't know _why _they're here any more than you do."

He pressed his lips together vexedly, after having opened them to correct her mutilation of his imprecise semantics. "Kitsune."

The redheaded boy jumped. "W-what?" he squeaked.

"What are you doing away from Inuyasha's protection?"

"Some protection," the other one muttered.

Jaken rounded on the not-youkai. "Sesshoumaru-sama was not addressing you, worm!"

The boy grinned, his mismatched eyes gleaming. "Aww, you mad 'cause I took your pink water?"

For reasons Kagura could not at all identify, Sesshoumaru was suddenly, vitally intent on the multicolored boy. The kid immediately realized something was wrong, and shrank back. "Um…"

"Pink water." There was deadly calm in the inuyoukai's voice. "What did you do with this… water?"

Kagura thought the better question would be why Sesshoumaru appeared to like pink so much. Or, failing that, why he was very studiously avoiding her quizzical gaze.

The green-haired boy was sweating. "Er…"

The taiyoukai may have been as still as stone, but no stone could have withstood the gaze he was leveling at both boys without melting. The kitsune cracked first. "He used it on Inuyasha and Miroku and now they're fighting and so're Sango and Kagome!"

From past experience Kagura knew of the taijiya and the houshi, and also that quarrels amongst the three humans and hanyou were not uncommon, especially considering the obvious connections between slayer and monk, and miko and hanyou. This, however, sounded different.

And why was Sesshoumaru looking… uncomfortable?

"They've fought before," Kagura noted cautiously.

"Not like this," the kitsune said, green eyes miserable. "It was s'posed to make Inuyasha and Kagome make up and not fight anymore, but it went wrong and got Miroku after Kagome and when we tried to fix it it went more wrong—"

"'After' her?" Kagura's eyes narrowed. Why did this sound remarkably familiar…?

"Like you and Kouga no baka, Kagura-sama," Rin, who had been watching all this with great interest, piped up helpfully. "They were very silly to watch."

Both adults winced visibly at the mention of Kouga. Kagura, however, made several extremely rapid connections, and came to a conclusion that pissed her off exponentially more with every second she thought about it.

"So the… pink water," she murmured slowly, "it causes… lust?"

Something in her voice appeared to scare the hell out of the two boys being questioned, but they both nodded.

"I see." She was perfectly calm. She was quite all right, really.

She exploded. _"You did THAT to me?"_

"_I KNOW it was an idiotic idea!" _Sesshoumaru barked back, apparently having braced himself for the storm.

"_Then why the fuck did you DO THAT?" _Love or not, she was good and ready to kill him. Preferably in a manner too painful for mortal minds to contemplate. _"You made me—I was—you gave me the HOTS for KOUGA?"_

"_I didn't think you'd stoop to screwing ANIMALS!"_

"_You ASSHOLE! You had the NERVE to comment on my CHOICE in fucking partners!"_

"_It didn't HAVE to be him!"_

"_WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"_

"_BECAUSE YOU TOOK RIN!"_

That cured the brief spate of shrieking, but it did nothing for Kagura's temper. "This was nothing like the last time," she growled, the low tone more dangerous than roaring. "You knew I wouldn't hurt her."

His voice was raw, as if he wasn't used to screaming. "That is irrelevant." He closed his eyes. "I wanted her back."

Kagura looked at him, the wind quite suddenly and most definitely out of her sails, then looked down at Rin, wide-eyed and aghast that the wind demoness and her beloved Sesshoumaru-sama were fighting. The taiyoukai's clawed hand smoothed the little girl's hair repeatedly in a protective gesture even as he glared dully at his opponent.

Amber eyes told her everything: _I would do anything for her._

"So I see," she whispered. _He's so damn loyal… ah, shit a stick, I can't. I can't hate him for it._

He wasn't looking at her anymore. "It was not… meant to go so far."

"I don't suppose it was," she replied with a touch of her old asperity.

"Your anger is justified."

"I should bloody well think so!"

He gave her a dry look. "Does it upset you more that I manipulated you, or that I humiliated you?"

"Neither one is too appealing." _It hurt more that you didn't trust me. Even if I didn't really expect you to._

"I will not say I did not mean to produce that effect."

She snorted. "You wouldn't be yourself if you hadn't." _Lying and trickery comes so easily to us, ne? I got it from my bastard father, just like you got it from yours._

"No." She didn't like the way he seemed to be almost reading her mind at the moment. Or the consideration on his face. Where was the cold fish she'd always seen before? The impassive stick-up-the-ass demeanor had been replaced with a Sesshoumaru who refused to take his eyes off her.

She made a face, uneasy with his mood and expression. "You might have picked a better—"

"_I _chose nothing," he interrupted. "You ran across the wolf on your own."

"I was going to say 'locale,'" she remarked drily, "but while we're at it…" She really didn't want to think about that right now.

Even if he did squeak like a puppy when she—nope, still not gonna go there.

_Does Se—nooo-OOO, not gonna go there either!_

"I was under the impression that the wolf hated you for killing his pack." He appeared not to notice the rather distinct reactions she was having to her thoughts, for which she was profoundly grateful.

"So was I, actually." She frowned. "Either he's a lot more of a moron than I originally thought, or…" No. There was no 'or.' She was not going to do the 'or' thing.

Sesshoumaru did it for her. "Or you… convinced him."

She glared at him. "Oh, thanks."

His expression was too bland. "You are quite forceful, Kagura. Given his demonstrated mental capacity, I would be surprised if he were _not_ persuaded by you."

Even if it had been given in Fluffy-speak, that was the first genuine compliment she'd ever received. She blinked, found herself coloring, and glared some more to cover it (it didn't work). And, damn it, she couldn't think of anything to say to that except—

"Thank you," she said finally, raising a sarcasm-heavy eyebrow to match her voice. "I think." She allowed herself a smirk. "'Forceful,' hm? Does this mean I could 'persuade' you, too?"

She'd said it to watch him squirm, to regain a little of her self-possession, but instead something flickered briefly in his eyes before he returned her gaze in deadpan. "I am nothing like the wolf."

Oh, she couldn't back down now—not now that he'd as good as challenged her. She allowed her smirk to slink into a full-blown suggestion. "No?" She drew out the syllable like something sweet and sticky that would be impossible to get out of your hair once in. Her gaze raked over him. "Maybe not the major parts, but… I think you have more in common than you realize." _And make of that_ _whatever the hell you will, Fluffy._

"If you mean that we both find you the most aggravating woman ever to plague the earth, I will concede the point," Sesshoumaru retorted.

She shrugged. "You were the one spending all your time on me," she shot back.

"You are time-consuming no matter what you do."

"Damn right I am," she smirked. Then nearly bit her tongue. _Shit, I'm flirting! _Somewhere along the line the flippant teasing had evaporated.

He looked at her for a long moment, and she matched him stare for stare, daring him to start the fight. Finally his mouth twitched, translating as a smile.

"So I see."

_Oh, that's not fair, _her subconscious complained as every nerve in her body blinked and shook its head, trying to figure out what had hit it. The rest of her stared wide-eyed at the inuyoukai, not believing he had just said that.

"You have insulted me, stolen from me, defied me, humiliated me, and challenged me. You have run me around in circles. You have forced me to admit to things that would otherwise never leave my thoughts. You have made me lose my temper, my dignity, my charge and possibly my mind," he told her calmly. "Have you anything to say for yourself?"

She clutched at her pride like a drowning sailor's life raft, and managed a bit of a smirk. "You can't lose a mind that's already lost, Fluffy."

He made an exasperated noise. "You have never been serious in your life."

"Probably not." _Except seriously shitfaced ass-over-nose in love with you, gods damn it all. And you will never_ _get me to admit to oh holy shiiiiiiiit—!_

He was standing _way _too close _way _too fast. As in nearly-face-plant-into-his-chest close. As in close enough to count his eyelashes. As in close enough to feel his breath on her face…

He stopped there, just out of reach. She could have skinned him. "It is beyond my understanding why you refuse to leave me alone."

She could have skinned him with a rusty knife. "Like hell. I wasn't the one doing the chasing." _And whose fault was that, hm? _"For someone who can't stand me, you're pretty damn persistent."

"Am I to understand that _you_ cannot tolerate _me?"_

With a rusty _pitchfork. _"Don't sound so surprised, 'Lord-High-Everything-Of-All-I-Survey'-sama. Just because you're tall, strong, and handsome—"

His entire _face _twitched. "Handsome?"

Forget skinning. _Stabbing. _"It goes with the other two."

"Of course."

_Ripping. _"You're an ass."

"Go on."

_Ripping all his clothes. _"Arrogant, stubborn, controlling, self-righteous, vain, smug—"

"Don't forget 'fluffy'."

_OFF. _"—bastard," she breathed after several moments, those having been taken up by a short, forceful kiss she'd had to stand on tiptoe to deliver properly.

She immediately wondered, _What the hell was that?_

_Fucking GREAT, that's what!_

She looked up at him, paralyzed, wondering what this meant and whether she'd just made an ass of herself and why oh why he wasn't moving—

He nearly gave her a heart attack: he _smiled._

And then he kissed her, very softly.

……………………………………

"D'you think it's safe?"

Hyakunan peeked over the edge of the log they'd taken refuge behind when the earlier conversation had blown up. It had been silent for a while now, but he hadn't trusted it—he could still smell them.

He popped up further. "They're all gone!"

Shippou poked his head up too. "Where'd they go?"

"Not far," a voice said right behind them.

Both boys yipped and tried to bolt, but there was, very abruptly, a hand holding them firmly by one ear. Sesshoumaru watched them impassively as they yelled and pawed at his hand in a futile effort to free themselves.

"I think a little explanation is in order," Kagura said calmly, tapping her fan against her chin. "About the pink water. And the hanyou."

"You will detail the events of this night in concise sentences," Sesshoumaru added blandly. "Very concise, as I am not in a patient mood."

Shippou and Hyakunan looked at each other and gulped.

"Wh-what did you want to know?" the green-haired boy asked in a small voice.

"Let's start with the reasons they're fighting."

Shippou sighed. "This is gonna take a while."


End file.
